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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Delicious-Gate-8192 on 2024-01-19 04:17:19+00:00.
We've been together for almost 4 years (3 years long distance) | moved to his country and is studying. It's been 6 months. Note that throughout our relationship he usually breaks up with me and then gets back with me after it was a whole routine I told him how much it affected me and I could say that he changed. Sadly we got a little issue one night we were fighting about him lying about what he did with a girl when we were off (the girl told me he was lying, he told me she was lying) . and I stormed out of the apartment (I can be really dramatic sometimes) and a neighbor called the police reporting abuse even tho it's not true it kind of traumatized him so at first he was done with me but afterwards we made up. Now the problem is I don't know what it is but l've been very moody and angry these days. I think it's due to the fact that I'm stressed out, I live alone, I miss my family so I snapped at him quite a few times but I'll be honest he was calm and patient each time. When I get mad he usually tells me « that's not what I meant » or « it was a joke ».
We were talking while I was in class (I'm sick | have a flu) everything was fine until he made comments about how it's almost been a year and we have to have s*x, he usually jokes about that but I feel like being sick and everything I snapped and told him how I felt saying that if it bothers him that I'm not ready he can date a girl who's willing to do it. He woke up saw the message and was shocked he said that he was joking and that he can't believe that I would make him look like a weirdo. He told me he won't talk to me for the rest of the day. He had his meeting w his lawyer (about the whole situation mentioned above) he went n after told me that he thought about it and he can't continue the relationship because he takes too much, he said he's tired of my jealousy, anger crisis and overall what happened today my reaction was the last straw.
I tried to make him understand that I'm just under pressure and stressed about a lot, he said he made up his mind. Him breaking up with me knowing I was sick doesn’t sit right with me either . I'm so confused because just the day before everything was fine. I honestly don't know what to do and I keep feeling guilty if u didn't send that message earlier this wouldn't have happened. I also don't know if he's being deadass this time or if he's just having one of his I'm done w this I'm breaking up crisis and that he will come back ? Should I just move on and never look back? Am I rlly the problem because of my anger issues ? A lot of my friends tell me that I minimize the fact that he breaks up with me and comes back way too much (he’s usually does that) we had a srs talk about this and he stopped but he’s back at it again. I don’t know what to do I’ve been having health issues because of all the stress.
I also don’t understand why when he used to act up and make my life so hard during the long distance I was understanding, same thing here when he acted up because he was stressed , but when it’s me he can’t do it?
TL:DR- I've been in a 4-year relationship, initially long distance, but recently moved to his country for studies. There's a history of him breaking up and getting back together, though he seemed to have changed. A recent argument about him lying about an encounter led to a false abuse report, causing initial strain but eventual reconciliation. Lately, stress and homesickness have made me moody, leading to arguments from my part. with him remaining patient. Today, a joke about intimacy during my sickness triggered a strong reaction from me, prompting him to break up, citing your jealousy, anger, and today's incident as the breaking point. I'm confused, feeling guilty, and unsure about what to do.