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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Gustwalker1996 on 2024-01-19 07:56:06+00:00.
TL;DR when my bf is sick or upset with work he withdrawals from me physically and mentally. I can't tell him how that makes me feel because them I'm called selfish, but I hate that he can play this card and leaving me feeling like this.
Together for a little more than a year. Living together for 4 months.
So my bf has been sick on and off for the past couple of months. Broken toe, fever, stomach-ache, covid, cold, you name it. Right now he played sports outside in -3 and has a cough and light fever with some stomach pains again.
Every time he gets sick or work doesn't go well he withdrawals from me I've noticed. Normally we have sex 4 times a week ish and cuddly every day on the couch watching a show in the evening or in bed, but none of that at all. He is on his phone the whole time and ignores me, doesn't ask stuff like how did you sleep and is very easily agitated. I haven't had 1 single kiss or hug yesterday. Only his cold feet against me in his sleep.
I can't tell him I miss physical/emotional contact or just to be seem because then I'm called selfish and misunderstanding him because he doesn't feel well. He will get more pissed off and withdrawals even more until he feels better.
I have a very bad chronic deaease that had got me bedridden of pain multiple times a week until my surgery last year. I still had sex with him and cuddled him because it was more worth to me than feeling in pain.
I'm starting to feel resentful to him he has the power to just withdrawal from me and think he is selfish for doing so. It hurts me and feels like a rejection and like im being played with. It also sucks I can't tell him how I feel about it.
What can I do about this?