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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/MoveNecessary7865 on 2024-01-18 20:50:41+00:00.
TL;DR I’m trying to decide whether I want to continue casually dating this guy and | need some advice. I'm casually dating this guy and it's been going well, but I'm starting to feel a bit of heartache.
While you're reading this, keep in mind that we both recently got out of long term relationships. I met him at work, and we instantly connected on a bunch of different levels. Of course physically we were attracted to each other from the start, but it's clearly more than that. We run into so many similarities in our values, what we want out of life, hobbies, etc. I can seriously see this guy and I being a yin yang type of energy if we were to actually be exclusive (which has not happened and there's been zero talk of it.) We seem to balance each other out really well. So we've been messing around for around 2 months now, and he basically comes over every night after work to hang out, sometimes eat, and obviously other things.... We have a show that we watch together, he does random acts of service all the time that makes my life easier, and it really feels like he cares. BUT. He's still on tinder. It made my heart hurt more than I thought it would because we're obviously not exclusive, so he hasn't done anything wrong. It's just that I'm definitely not considering anyone else, whereas now I feel like he might just be hanging with me until he thinks he has found someone better.
The energy doesn't lie when we're together(unless I'm completely delusional about the connection) but I'm trying to decide if I end it before I develop really strong feelings since it doesn't seem like we're on the same page. The other option would be to just continue casually dating him and see where it goes. I want to tell him this and have an honest conversation but I feel awkward because we haven't addressed any of this before. I don't want to be someone's option, I want to be someone's choice. I know I'm sitting #1 on his roster right now, but now I know that he's got more on that list. Guys have been trying left and right to take me out but I haven't given any of them the time of day because of this guy. what does everyone think? ride it out and give us both more time, especially since we both got out of relationships vs. ending it before I really fall for him.