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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Own-Sun9616 on 2024-01-18 15:47:13+00:00.
Husband and I have been married for 5 years. We live a happy, stable life, no real problems. We get along well and this may be a small complaint, but it's one I want some closure on.
We're both pretty independent and tend to spend most of our time on separate hobbies, friends, work, etc. We eat dinner together and chat over that, and we make it a point to schedule date nights and get coffee together a few mornings a week, but i would say most of the time we're apart. We have sex still, but not a lot (we tend to average once a month, we tend to never be in the mood on the same days or times)
Anyway, the other day we were running errands and I suggested going out to eat. I thought it would be an opportunity for some connection. Instead it was a pretty tepid date, we made small talk and then we just, ate food and went home. Not great. Kinda wish we just saved our money and stayed home.
Today my husband expressed that he's been feeling a bit down lately, that he didn't like that I tweeted a couple things about celebrity crushes and talked about a cute girl at my art class. We talked about it and agreed that we were kinda taking each other for granted and need more quality time.
Problem is, neither of us can think of anything to do. Movie? Eh. Board game, ehhh. Cooking together? Maybe. There's just this "bleh do we have to" tone about it, and I don't know if we'll actually do anything together today after all.
I'm wondering if this is just a normal relationship thing, do we just need to embrace the boring at this stage and at our age? Is there something we can do to be excited about hanging out together again? We know each other so well at this point that even conversation cards with weird questions feel stale. Is this just how things get?
Tl;Dr husband and I are getting bored of spending time together and I'm wondering if this is normal, and if not, what to do about it