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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/dancingberries on 2024-01-18 15:57:45+00:00.
I am Fwb with my best guy friend. I’d say it is closer to a relationship but without a title. I know he has commitment issues and trauma from being cheated on in a past relationship. His ex gf then got together with the guy she cheated on.
We agreed to keep the affection at a minimum for the Fwb. I tried to set those boundaries but they weren’t completely respected.
He became increasingly affectionate over time and wanted to hang out for longer periods/spend entire weekends together.
Even when we don’t have sex he is very affectionate like cuddling me from behind and giving me kisses on the lips and cheek, and random kisses while sleeping together overnight. Enveloping me in his arms while holding both of my hands. Playing footsie with me. Sometimes trying to hold my hand while driving. Offering to fix things up around my place. Constantly messaging me. We are each other’s emotional support.
At a few points throughout the Fwb, he was getting jealous of my other guy friends. On the other hand, Sometimes he’d try to reassure me that he wasn’t into other girls.
When asked about his lovey dovey behaviour he said “I just like to do those things, I’m naturally affectionate”. He denied wanting more than Fwb. Therefore, I tried not to think anything of his actions, and kept my feelings at arms length and emotions out of it. I noticed a few red flags about him and so I was ok with keeping it casual/short term at the time.
things started getting messy. He was upset with me for being on my phone “too much” and texting other people when we were hanging out. Also if I didn’t want to sleep over or when I didn’t respond to him for a couple of hours while out. He said he reacted this way because he thought I was ignoring him and he was hurt.
I realized it was unfair of him to expect all these relationship things when he didn’t want more. I am no longer ok with it and am trying to cut things off.
I let him know I was thinking of cutting it off soon and the reasons why. He accused me of having someone else and that “he trusts it will go well”. He said I was tossing him to the side and that he meant nothing to me. All this is not true. He said “don’t you know how hurt I am”.
I am still holding on because I would genuinely be sad to lose him as a friend and would feel a void in my life.
However, I am not going to stick around and be someone’s gf without a title, while he possibly looked around for someone better. It would hurt too much. How to ease into this or any other suggestions on what I should do?
Tl/dr: I want to break things off with overly affectionate and jealous fwb who denies wanting more. I will be sad to have lost a friend.