Great, now I want to work in a bagelry just so I can be the guy that says this.
Funny
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Ahh what happened to good old days
"I would like to buy a cream cheese bagel."
Would this avoid any misunderstandings without the need of me becoming excessively verbose on my request of bread and cheese breakfast combinations?
"Here is your weird order for a bagel-shaped serving of cream cheese! You're welcome!"
"Greetings and salutations, oh master baker! I have found the way to your workshop in the hopes to acquire one of your baked goods which the commoners call a bagel, to which I have come to the knowledge it can be filled with cream cheese, to obtain a composite treat of great satisfaction to those who hunger for the combined delight of cooked flour and curdled milk! In that manner, I will request thee to surrender one of such confectionaries in exchange of money!".
"I don't understand a word you just said."
"One bagel with cream cheese, please."
Nods, jumps the counter with a runup, tackles the cashier, draws cream cheese from the cream-cheese-quick-draw-bag and asks: Is my cream cheese not good enough for ya?