this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 140 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I want a rundown of all the crimes House commits and what % of episodes contain felonies.

Cause they're certainly missing the "Foreman, break into the dudes house and tell me everything in his crawlspace" scene, and the "Cameron, lie to him and drug him with this non-approved treatment and let's see if he starts dying quicker or slower."

[–] [email protected] 109 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Nearly every episode contains a felony since he's constantly taking medication obtained via prescription fraud.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That came later, I think at least to begin with he was just prescribing to himself, then lost privileges.

I don't think it is outright illegal to prescribe yourself drugs. Judy discouraged.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I don't think it is outright illegal to prescribe yourself drugs. Judy discouraged

Nah, it's super illegal. At least in the version of New Jersey the show takes place in.

They point that out a couple of times during the run of the series and if memory serves, that's actually one of the few crimes of his that he ALMOST gets in real trouble for.

That and stealing Wilson's prescription pad to make it seem like he's the one prescribing them. Which is of course a couple seperate crimes 😄

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

He did kind of sort of run a goddamn car through a house. Then he went to jail for exactly one fucking episode.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Literally the best part of every episode is when the hospital doctors break into the patients home and start ransacking it looking for clues as to their illness, which as we all know, is taught semester 1 in medical school. Semester 2 is when you learn how to do actual medical tests.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

The disconnect from reality is so ridiculous. IRL you can be bleeding from your forehead with a giant gash in your skin, and they'll be like "we're not really sure what the problem is, and we don't care. Let's run blood work. We'll get back to you in 5 days, but only if anything from the tests comes back positive. Other than that, pay your $785 before you leave, and then get the fuck out".

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[–] [email protected] 72 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Not to bring things down but... when you've been dealing with an undiagnosed illness which has gone on for months (i.e. me), you'll be happy to take someone with the bedside manner of Dr. House as long as you get some sort of answer.

And no, it isn't lupus.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Have you considered it's all in your head? /s

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (4 children)

The funny thing is we actually considered some sort of brain issue, but according to my neurologist after seeing my MRI, I have a very healthy brain.

Of course, that doesn't mean I'm not imagining things. Who knows? Anything could be psychosomatic.

[–] SuddenDownpour 3 points 7 months ago

Note that neurology is a science at an infant stage. Not only do we have limited tools to analyze the brain, we barely know how it works. In contrast, even though plenty of forms of cancer are very difficult to treat, we have a solid understanding of how it works, we just have difficulties creating remedies that are safe and effective for all forms of cancer.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Things could be psychosomatic, but I was being sarcastic for a reason. Many people dismiss other's pain as psychosomatic as a quick way to ignore their needs. I say trust yourself as much as it makes sense to do so.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (9 children)

Actually, it's not a pain thing. I'm in no pain from it at all. It's just a mystery. I dry heave every morning like I have morning sickness (unlikely due to, like, having a penis) and I have been unable to eat solid food since August (I had another six-week bout in March). I live on Ensure and Gatorade. I have had a ton of tests- X-rays, labs, an MRI, a HIDA scan and two EGDs (where they send a scope down your throat). I have had a biopsy of my stomach. I have had my gallbladder removed. Nothing has changed. So I have an appointment at the Mayo Clinic for the end of March (unless someone cancels and I can get in sooner) where hopefully I'll meet my Doctor House and get this sorted out.

But there's no pain and very little discomfort. I feel fine most of the time. I can live a relatively normal life despite this, although obviously I have fairly low energy. I mean it sucks not eating, I'd love to eat. A new Nepalese restaurant opened here. I've never even had Nepalese food! I drive by it all the time and look at the pictures outside and think, "wow, I wish I could eat that." But I can't. It's not nausea, it's a total aversion to food. The smell, the texture, etc. And no hunger ever. My GP described it as similar to anorexia but with a physical cause. We just don't know what that cause is.

The only positive is that I've lost 70 pounds and am 10 pounds away from my ideal weight. I still look fat, but hey, we can't have everything. So I do recommend having a mystery illness where you can't eat if you want to lose weight. It works better than Ozempic!

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[–] starman2112 10 points 7 months ago

How do your shoes look? Could be butthole worms

[–] SuddenDownpour 4 points 7 months ago

At an opposite corner of the spectrum, you can rarely find doctors as smug as House but as unable to help you as all the others you have previously visited.

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[–] [email protected] 68 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Butthole worms are verrrrrrrry common.

Also,use a bidet guys.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago (1 children)

They left out lupus. Always gotta rule out lupus.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 7 months ago

It’s never lupus. Except that one time when it was lupus.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 7 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Awww why'd you post the one without the audio?

Audio version

[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I know that it's probably on purpose and supposed to be funny in itself but holy shit did he fellate that poor microphone! Almost made it unwatchable!

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[–] [email protected] 42 points 7 months ago (1 children)

House was the only medical show for me that was able to be this predictable, and I would watch. Hmmm... maybe time for another watch.

[–] ryathal 41 points 7 months ago (2 children)

It's because the show wasn't about the medicine or solving the case, it was about what it cost to be House.

[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (8 children)

Yeah, but considering it's supposed to be Sherlock Holmes as a doctor, shouldn't it at least be a little bit about solving the case?

Before anyone questions it being a Holmes show, since that seems to have gone over so many people's heads:

House = Home (Holmes)

Both of their colleagues are named Watson

Both use deduction to solve mysterious cases (medical vs criminal) that no one else can crack.

Both live at 221B Baker Street

Both have drug issues

Both play musical instruments in order to think things through

House is shot by a man named Jack Moriarty (Moriarty is frequently presented as a nemesis of Holmes)

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago

You forgot the most important factor.

The writers literally said they based House off of Sherlock Holmes stories.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago

House has Wilson, Holmes has Watson

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago

Also mysteries are frequently solved in a way the audience could not have known because it was with information only House/Holmes had. But it's expected in a medical drama because the audience isn't full of doctors.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

Both live at 221B Baker Street

For real? I never watched House, but him being inspired by Holmes doesn't surprise me given the idea I got through pop-cultural osmosis. But he actually lives on the same address? That sounds a bit too on the nose.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

I really liked House. I don't know shit about medicine, but my whole job is troubleshooting, and the troubleshooting in the show has actually helped me.

Some big takeaways...

Most hard to solve issues are really just a combination of 2 or 3 simple issue acting together in a weird way.

Everybody lies - I don't necessarily agree with this in my line of work, but I frequently use "Not everybody tells the truth" as a better rule. I can't recall having a client lie to me, but every day they tell me things that are wrong or untrue because they don't understand what happened.

When in doubt, do a shit-ton of pain killers and berate people for not having the answer, even though you don't have it yourself (shift blame/expectation management)

[–] [email protected] 32 points 7 months ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

It's never butthole worms.

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[–] spez 29 points 7 months ago (5 children)

It's great when you watch it off and on but it's painful binging it.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)

All the Sherlock Holmes type derivatives are much like that, back in the day when I would watch a bunch of episodes it was mostly enjoyable because Hugh Laurie is just such a great actor.

Lupis was always the metaphorical man caught holding the gun lol

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The series ended 2 seasons before the finale. I cannot be convinced otherwise

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

It's ok to be wrong <3

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

The same-y ness of the episodes really stands out when you do this. On a binge, I found myself watching it more for the character arcs than the diagnostic drama... which is not the show's strong point. :(

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

it was made for the once a week way of watching. just choose a day to be house day every week. instantly better experience

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (4 children)

It’s weird how a lot of those types of shows seem different just a few years later, in the streaming/binge-watching era.

Those types of shows…House, CSI, etc…the formula itself just gets so dull and routine over and over again with nothing in between.

Conversely, long drawn out dramas that don’t reset 90% of the stage every episode, like Breaking Bad work really well. I’d say it even works well for most of GoT.

In fact, I’d say it makes some shows better. “Lost” was a big letdown for people watching it week to week and season to season over the course of nearly six years. But when I binge-watched it for the first time over a few weeks, I don’t think it was nearly as bad as an ending as people make it out to be.

I never watched Weeds all the way through. I quit when it started getting too self-aware and cliche (somewhere around the tunnel). It was just right before that, and it started to fall off. I think watching it in a binge manner might be a bit more quaint because that shark-jumping becomes part of its charm.

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[–] Varyk 21 points 7 months ago

Yup, consistently entertaining for as long as it ran. hahah, what a fun show.

[–] captain_aggravated 18 points 7 months ago

Cuddy: You can't set your patient on fire, House! House: I only need to burn him for a few minutes. It'll make your ass look thinner. Cuddy: Fine. Just do it while the lawyer is out to lunch.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago

I should watch house again.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago

That's why it's such a good show!

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