Look! In the sky! It's a bird, it's a plane! No! It's Superman fucking his cousin!
Really though she probably is the only one who can take his load without it blowing out the top of her skull.
this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2023
778 points (98.0% liked)
Funny: Home of the Haha
5622 readers
312 users here now
Welcome to /c/funny, a place for all your humorous and amusing content.
Looking for mods! Send an application to Stamets!
Our Rules:
-
Keep it civil. We're all people here. Be respectful to one another.
-
No sexism, racism, homophobia, transphobia or any other flavor of bigotry. I should not need to explain this one.
-
Try not to repost anything posted within the past month. Beyond that, go for it. Not everyone is on every site all the time.
Other Communities:
-
/c/[email protected] - Star Trek chat, memes and shitposts
-
/c/[email protected] - General memes
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Imma just drop this here
WTF
Ejaculation of semen is entirely involuntary in the human male, and in all other forms of terrestrial life. It would be unreasonable to assume otherwise for a kryptonian
Why exactly would the author jump to this conclusion? First it’s noted that Superman has precise muscle control. He can and has altered his voice using such a technique. Second he says it right there, he’s not terrestrial. Why would he have the same involuntary spasms from orgasm as an earthling? Even if he didn’t have his super muscular control there’s no cannon on how goofy a face kryptonians make when they nut.
It goes on to say the sperm cells would be super powered, but they probably need a steady dose of yellow sunlight before they’re ripping holes in ovaries.
This isn’t even getting into the theory that Superman isn’t super strong, he’s just a very powerful short range telekinetic psychic. Save that one for another time.
My friend, that eassy was written in 1969.
Much of what your sighting wasn't cannon yet, and given the internet didn't exist, nor did the kind of nerd culture we have today, it's entirely reasonable for a writer at the time to not be expected to have encyclopedic knowledge of Superman canon. Insofar as there even was true canon given it was the twilight of the Silver Age, when "bonkers" was the name of the game.
Moreover, that eassy is pretty famous for being such a candid, deep dive into such a silly topic but bringing up something most people at the time hadn't considered. This was 1969, published in a mens magazine, by a sci-fi writer, that basically took on meme status. It's pretty obviously not meant to be taken seriously.
Overly serious people on the internet are unable to contextualize a piece of speculative literature given the time and place in which it was written? On my Lemmy instance? Never...
I know but I wouldn’t be an anonymous nerd if I didn’t respond to it in fashion. 😃
load more comments
(2 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
Wonder woman could handle it.
The batmobile too.
LL did. She and Superman have had kids over the years.
The whole Injustice timeline is based on Superman being tricked into killing Louis and their unborn child.
LL = Lex Luther and you can't tell me otherwise
ight I'm out
Clark was raised on a farm. It still checks out.
I mean, she's the only one who could handle his ballistic sperm, no? 🤔
CUMINCIDE
Came from an alien star Came to bend you over a bar.
Dna not a factor, balls a nuclear reactor
Taking all your women Filling them with semen
I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come, she dies, I come!
Super powered jets of white, filling you up with spite
Giant, throbbing cock of might; Slamming your wife all damn night.
Ramming your children too, object and I'll fuck you
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
Spreading our race across the galaxy, conquest by spreading seed.
Our weapon lethal ejaculation, Killing by insemination
Superior jizm, final cataclysm!
You die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die, I come, you die!
DO YOU WANT MAKE FUCK? BERZERKER
... da fuck?
Lmao!
That is what happens when you're hanging out with a death metal band, and start joking about Superman jizzing and blowing Lois' head off during sex.
I started writing, and about twenty minutes later, there was a riff, and a bass line. The drummer wasn't up to a good blast beat lol.
It got recorded, but ended up tossed out lol. Afaik, the files are gone totally, but I kept the note on my phone :)
Like, can you imagine a bunch of aliens dressed like GWAR, but spreading through the universe like Omniman's people (from the comic/show invincible, if you haven't ever run across the reference) to fuck their way to dominance? They either kill you by fucking you, or they breed you to make more of themselves.
The guys were all high and half drunk, so there were joking plans for a sequel from the female aliens' perspective, and then a final one when one of the offspring decided to take them out with its monster cock the size of a baseball bat by masturbating and exploding the original aliens. I doubt I'll ever write those sequels lol.
load more comments
(2 replies)
If you just wrote this I am thoroughly impressed...
and very turned on ;)
load more comments
(1 replies)
I see someone else is a Larry Niven fan.
Counterpoint: Wonder Woman.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Fun fact: Both Einstein and Darwin married their first cousins.
Darwin should have known better.
To his defense, the theory about genetics weren't discovered yet during his lifetime.
Also to his defense his cousin was hot.
For the lazy yet curious.
Though I think it was already known that the union between close relatives has the tendency to create sickly offspring.
Close relatives, yes, but not so much with cousins. And it wasn't until Darwin that they truly started to grasp what was going on.
It's easy to spot the recurring issue of diseased/sickly/malformed offspring with incest between siblings, or between parents and children, because the rate of birth defects is much higher. Fourfold, in fact.
Cousins didn't produce them nearly as much, so it wasn't an obvious enough trend. It's perfectly possible for first cousins to have healthy offspring more than half the time. In fact some studies have found the risk of genetic defeats is not much higher than a regular couple where the women is over the age of 40. Which is to say, it's low, but not low enough to ignore. There's also a lot of other factors involved especially when it comes to closed ethnic groups that tend to only reproduce amongst themselves.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Actually, they kind of were. By him.
He's the one that put forth the theories about the benefits of crossbreeding and the risks of inbreeding. He studied it in plants and wrote several books on it.
And yes, when his first daughter died at 10, the first of 3 that would die young, he worried a great deal it was because of his marriage to his cousin. He didn't have the facts or the data to prove it, but he had a very good inkling as to why 3 of his 10 kids died young and some of the ones that lived were infertile.
load more comments
(1 replies)
He was married and having kids before his theories had fully taken shape.
But he did know, or at least suspected, he'd made a mistake after the death of his first daughter. But he also had healthy children too, so he couldn't say anything unequivocally.
He ended up being a case study for his own theory, and he was well aware of it.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Krypton doesn't have a south anymore
Too soon!
If Kal-El landed in Alabama instead of Kansas.
My wife and I go for Halloween as Luke and Leia before they knew they were siblings.
We went as a priest and a nun one year. Figure that one out, armchair Freuds.
load more comments
(1 replies)
I think pot should be legal, I do. I also think if your cousin is super-hot, you should be able to fuck one time. - Dave Attell
Yes, but so are they.
Nah, Supergirl is a protoplasmic matrix from a pocket universe.
Gotta keep that bloodline pure. European royalty already tried this for generations and it all worked out fine.
Roll tide
I know comics and even today I will fuck tomorrow yay!
view more: next ›