this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 10 months ago (7 children)

What’s wrong with doing this? I do it semi often. My wife thinks it’s weird but I’ve never regretted it.

I melt cheese on them sometimes.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (1 children)

have you considered taking a job as a mid-1600s sailor

[–] [email protected] 22 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I like scuttlebutt, rum, salt cod, and I can eat a whole lemon on its own.

But I don’t like the heat or back breaking labour, so I don’t think I’d be a good fit.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Doubt they did either, but it was that or starve.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

“I kinda like it actually”

“Shut up, Nart”

“But —“

“It’s a horrible life”

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[–] Imgonnatrythis 12 points 10 months ago

Are you hard of reading? Poster says you Will not regret. Don't be so surprised.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I should go back to doing this instead of eating Cheetos. Sleeve of crackers and a serving spoon of peanut butter. So good.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’m feeling vindicated by this thread. I do this too and my wife comments on it, so I mostly do it when she’s not home.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Someone who makes you feel like you have to hide who you are is not acting like a very good partner :( and you can tell her I said so

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"Baby, I know we've been together for 12 years, but some random person on the internet said we should break up because I eat crackers, so it's over."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

She calls me a weirdo but she still brings me crackers and peanut butter or she makes me “cracker stew” (which is soup fully saturated with crackers) when I’m sick.

We’re good, but next time she bugs me for it I’ll repeat the message

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

And it's almost healthy. Not really, but compared to Cheetos...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I just realized I’ve never tried butter on an apple. Butter on fruit generally.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I just thought the same thing... They are delicious

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 10 months ago (8 children)

I put a little butter on them sometimes and it's delicious but everyone thinks I'm crazy until they try it. I wish I had some saltines right now.

[–] starman2112 7 points 10 months ago

I survived for something like three years on butter and saltines. It's the best if you use unsalted butter, and put rock salt on top, but let's be real here–we're just scraping butter straight off the stick with each saltine and eating it like we're in the trenches of the Great War and we don't know when the Krauts are gonna attack us so we gotta eat fast

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My grandma used to do this. It really is a satisfying treat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I’ve done this. It never crossed my mind other people didn’t. You have some butter nearby and you’re eating crackers? You put the butter on the crackers.

It’s like finding a thread where people are going “Try butting butter on the toast. I know it sounds weird [no?] but you gotta try it.” and others “Oh yeah my grandma used to do that”

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Isn't that what saltines are for?

Edit: Wait, I read that as peanut butter. Butter is...not gross but not what I do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Peanut butter is good too. That's for when I feel like making marginally better choices, though (because then I can say, "Well it has protein?")

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I like butter on saltines.

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[–] sbv 21 points 10 months ago (1 children)

maybe with a brick of cheese

nothing helps my self esteem like a sleeve of saltines and a brick of cheese

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Whipped cream. Salty and sweet. Delicious.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I will be trying this these holidays. I’d have never thought of mixing the two.

In exchange for the idea, I recommend sweetening whipped cream with a dash of maple syrup, the maple flavour comes out nicely with the airy texture. But do not use this for pumpkin pie or another sweet treat as it’s too rich.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] starman2112 14 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Butter

Peanut butter

Cheese

Spray cheese

Cream cheese

Cream cheese with a clove of garlic

Honey

Help me think of more good ways to enjoy saltines

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I just put saltines on them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

New toast sandwich

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

Summer sausage and cheddar cheese.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Mustard if you are especially desperate.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

ham?

alternatively, sauce.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

Oof this one hits close to home.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Yes. Saltines and spreading some good crunchy peanut butter is a fine lazy meal.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

new beef stroganoff just dropped

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago (2 children)

People eat saltines... willingly?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

They’re delicious

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Add sardines to that, and you'll have reached a whole new level.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

I can't believe someone beat me to it. Sardines, or tinned smoked oysters, a little cheese, baby you've got yourself a meal.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (5 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Guilty as charged.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

when you get sick and you can finally justify eating sleeve of saltines 😋

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I do this, but with graham crackers instead.

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