this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2023
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ryathal 70 points 8 months ago

Anon forgot all information on 4chan is false, even the true stuff.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 8 months ago

I had to change my diet to purely swallowing peanuts with water. Then, I slowly reintroduced my typical diet of McDonald's double cheese burgers, vodka, and energy drinks. Once I had a population of squirrels that could tolerate my pure excrement, things really took off. They started getting larger and mutating. I had to stop before they started raping all the dogs in the neighborhood. I spent nearly 2 months holed up in my attic with a pallet of MREs, 4 dozen handles of vodka, and 15,000 rounds of M855.

[–] [email protected] 57 points 8 months ago (4 children)

What in the actual fuck‽ Who even lies about this

[–] [email protected] 57 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

have you seen 4chan? it's a circlejerk of neckbeard self harm

[–] [email protected] 24 points 8 months ago (1 children)

it's not a lie, it's never a lie when it's this bad

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, sadly I know. Like if it’s real that’s not funny, it’s just concerning. The man needs serious mental health assistance. He probably can’t live on his own and may need a group home. That behavior would put him in serious health danger

[–] HootinNHollerin 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

The man is probably like 12

[–] minibyte 2 points 8 months ago

If we’re starting a pool, I’m going 30.

[–] can 7 points 8 months ago

You have no idea.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I recently saw a documentary about addiction among youths, among others gaming addiction. Unfortunately, shit like this is real — pun intended.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (1 children)

If this is solely a gaming addiction then this is their equivalent of a straight man marrying Joe Exotic for meth. This likely would have other compounding factors. This is the sort of shit that people who are in solitary confinement pull to try to have some minute form of control over their environment. It’s bleak as all hell before you take into consideration that this person seems to have believed 4chan about it and then went back to them for comfort while they laugh.

I really want to believe that it’s not true, but fucking hell yeah I know that 4chan attracts a certain sort of mentally unwell and mentally disabled people and just demolishes any chance for them to be happy and somewhat well adjusted. It’s like an AA branch that starts meetings with a round or five of shots

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Of course. I'd say I have a mild addiction to gaming, yet I am not out here throwing literal shit in my attic. I just like to game a little more than I should, probably.

It's like this for most addictions though. A lot of people have sinilar levels of addiction, for some it just compounds with other mental health problems.

[–] [email protected] 56 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Anon must not have opened the squirrel gate in the attic. I’ve had no issues.

[–] [email protected] 51 points 8 months ago

It's like the "recharge your phone in the microwave" meme but for NEET losers who are either pathologically lazy or terrified of the possibility of seeing their reflection in the bathroom mirror.

[–] [email protected] 37 points 8 months ago

Wastewater treatment squirrels are expensive.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Probably charged his iPhone in the microwave too.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

Yeah idiot probably didn't set it to popcorn like he was supposed to

[–] [email protected] 11 points 8 months ago (2 children)

We’ve come a long way from tri-forcing, huh…

[–] Socsa 3 points 8 months ago

Pool's still closed

[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 months ago

What is tri-forcing?