this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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177
What is a gender neutral replacement for man, guys, buddy, etc? (lemmy.ca)
submitted 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] [email protected] 115 points 8 months ago (4 children)

A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 8 months ago

I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".

"And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I'm a cis woman in IT, I'm guy, dude, man, bro... I don't really care. You can change to make a specific person feel more confortable but most woman don't care to be dude or guy

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (4 children)

"Guys" is ungendered.

Reconsider whether it's worth being friends with people that insist on fighting over the term "guys".

And if you are surrounded by a lot of particularly sensitive people, just call them "friend" or "friends". It works for people you both like and dislike. Glorious.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 8 months ago (2 children)

Sure, but as a professional (teacher) I’m not willing to put my career on the line by challenging a sensitive parent. A few years ago we were told not to use that word, and when it comes to things like that, I do as I’m told.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 8 months ago

“Listen up you little shits”. Perfectly non-gendered!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 8 months ago

That makes sense.

Teachers have to do a lot of stupid shit these days.

[–] dead 6 points 8 months ago

Aw yeahhhh, everyone's into guys 🫦

(well, except aro/ace people maybe)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

Modifying my language choices is literally the least I can do to make people feel more included, so anyone who can't fathom doing that is for sure, not worthy of being a friend.

[–] [email protected] -4 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago) (2 children)

If you are in the Midwest, Guys is absolutely gender neutral.

Edit: downvote me all you want guys, it won’t change the truth.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 8 months ago

Meh, people who want to fight over the term 'guys' are in the minority.

They can probably just be ignored.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 8 months ago

It is indeed.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 8 months ago

Bud is very rarely used for women (or at least for me), but it is one of my favourite things to hear tbh