this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Does "third world war" mean "World War III" or a (proxy) war that will happen in third world countries but money-managers in the first world will have strong interest in?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (3 children)

...both.

Welcome to the THIRD - WORLD - WAAARS!

*holds for applause*

Countries from the west and the east have come together with each their funds to pit third world soldiers against each other in a battle for glorious supremacy. This years games is held in Mogadishu and is sponsored by Coca Cola.

Each side gets about 15,000 soldiers and each of their countries will recieve a discount on their international debt. The outcome will decide how much dune feathers will cost per freight on the international markets the coming year.

Who will be the winner? The Eastern dune manufacturers, or western bedding corporations.

One thing is for certain, it won't be the soldiers. Grab a hold of that machete and go hack off some of that debt, boys. Maybe a new predatory loan made between the elites of the west, east and Africa will pull Africans out of extreme poverty... but if not, they could of course try again - at the next annual THIRD - WORLD - WAAAARS!

*applause*

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Its title is actually "The Great War (2024)" bc nothing is original anymore.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Of course it's a reboot.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Will soldiers have to wear the logos of companies that sponsor them?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Not only, but for extra sponsorship money, they have to tattoo their entire body and then sell their skin (after death of course, though not a deal breaker) so it can be sold at an online skin market.

Collect the backs of an entire platoon and decorate your rumpus room today!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

First one then the other.