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You are the person who has a problem with that and you mentioned FOSS. It is easy to complain. FOSS gives you the tools to change things. But you have to put in the work. You are the one putting the burden the change something to your liking on others instead of doing to yourself.
Both of your ideas are not compatible with ActivityPub as far is I can see. So you first need to change the specification and then make everyone adopt the specification. Before that any change would make your software incompatible with the rest of fediverse which is counter the idea.
And all of that because people could be mad about a downvote. I am an instance admin. I was downvoted before. I never even thought about looking up who downvoted me. I know people are different but to be honest if someone looks it up and harasses you then you block them. And I really can't imagine that your vote on a post with a pseudonym is really a very useful datapoint for anyone.
I agree that these things have to be communicated better but I don't even know how we would make people aware of this. No one reads disclaimers.
To some degree yes. However, I am simply a user. I have no idea where to even begin with attempting such a thing, and whilst I'm sure I could probably find out, even if I did it would take far longer to learn, nevermind getting it adopted. It's a lot easier for the people running the site and who have knowledge of how to do so. It's like going to a restaurant, not liking the way they've done the food, so the restaurant comes back with "Cook it yourself then". The other "solution" is of course going to a different restaurant or simply not going to a restaurant. which if:
is truly the case, then it would seem that that is the only viable option for me personally.
I don't care how people vote me. This isn't strictly about downvotes, it's about specifc content engagement.
It's potentially useful to someone. And I'd just rather not have that data public anyway, it's just that simple. Enough data is already public, what types of content you actively engage with and how you engage with it also being public is just a bad idea in my opinion. These are core analytics almost any site collects, which imply they must have a purpose. Except here it's public, and can also be swooped up by big companies should they dedicate a tiny fraction of computing power to run an instance.
Making these things directly accessible to end users would be a start. Have a stats button that shows who precisely voted what. Hiding this shit in the backend is just blatant obfuscation.
It seems you have a few options:
Option 1. has the highest chance of getting your changes but option 2. might work as well. I wish you luck if you choose these options.
Option 3. seems unlikely from your comments.
Option 4. is maybe the easiest option for you then. And I say that without wanting you gone. I'd like you to stay but I don't think the fediverse can accommodate your demands.
I'd like to point out a flaw with your analogy though: if you go to a restaurant you pay the people to make what you want. The Lemmy Devs do this for free for you. A better analogy is going to a potluck without bringing anything and being unhappy about the lack of steak.