Her: "Aloe is a desert plant. It would love full sun the whole day"
Me: "Remember the last time you placed it outside for a few hours and it got all burned up, then you placed it in and got better after a few days? Don't put it outside. It can't handle the sunlight"
Her: ""
Now the plant is all dry and cracked up and burned and close to death.
Masturbation is a sin, though. Do you want it to go to plant hell?
Arguably it was already there ^^