this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2023
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I prefer to say no problem over you're welcome cuz it always (to me) sounds sarcastic/disingenuous when I say you're welcome
It's like this:
You have a boss. A wrinkled plus-sized brown business jacket of a man whose idea of "cutting costs" is turning the air conditioner off. If he caught on fire, you wouldn't piss on him to put him out. How do you address him? "Good morning Mr. Perkins, how are you doing today?"
You've got a war buddy. You met at boot camp, you served in the same company, he splinted your leg in the field, you're his kids' godfather. You'd kill and die for this man. How do you address him? "Ah god not this fucking asshole again."
Official formal polite language like "Thank you" and "You're welcome" is the pair of nitrile gloves I put on to handle the really noxious shit that comes my way. "w'thanks man" and "no problem" means I'm willing to handle you with my bare skin.
"No problem" also carries the implication that the favor was taken and done without ill will, where "you're welcome" carries one of superiority
I like to say no problemo. It suggests that the favour was done with a touch of Mexican
Superiority from using formal language?
Well one would expect it at a five star restaurant, but not your local dive. So… kinda..?
I thought it was every day life politeness, but I am not native. I would rather expect "the pleasure is all mine, sir" at a 3 Michelin stars restaurant.
To me “you are welcome” comes off as taking credit for something minor and expected. No problem does the opposite. I prefer when people say no problem generally over you’re welcome. And that’s why it’s become more common in a day in age where people are expected to be less servile.
Question for the Spanish speakers in the room: Is there even another term equivalent to "you're welcome" other than de nada that people actually use? Not super familiar but Spanish seems like a language where "it's nothing" or "no problem" has almost completely replaced other phrases responding to thanks.
Asked honestly and noting cultural differences that may apply here - could be there's a more formal "you're welcome" Spanish phrase and I've just never heard it. 'Cause, you know, I don't live in a Spanish speaking place.
TIL manners are uppity.