this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2023
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Unpopular Opinion

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I’ve had turkey just about every possible way it can be cooked, and it just isn’t that good.

Doesn’t matter how juicy or dry and it doesn’t matter what herbs or spices are used, it just not that tasty.

Give me a brisket or a standing rib roast or just about anything that isn’t turkey for thanksgiving.

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[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Because everyone only eats it once, maybe twice a year, nobody knows how to properly cook a turkey. Combine that with the only turkeys being butterballs from a grocery store and it’s no wonder you don’t like it.

A properly cooked, quality turkey is incredibly good and is one of my favorite meats. Definitely prefer it over chicken or other poultry

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah grocery store turkeys are the blandest factory farmed things on earth lol. There’s a reason why you can get them on sale for like 80¢/lb.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It's actually because it's a loss leader. Most consumers aren't just going to buy a turkey. They're getting all of those other fixins that go with it, and those prices are pretty minimal and steady no matter the store. Even cheaper by the pound, it's probably gonna be the most expensive thing you buy for a Thanksgiving meal. But most people are going to need one. People know all of this, so they shop for the best deal on turkey. That gets them in the door and since they're already buying, they go ahead and buy all the other things they need to prepare. They almost definitely lose money on those turkeys by themselves but make more money overall by selling them cheap. And for chain stores, the individual store isn't eating those costs. Those losses get written off and corporate eats the loss.

And sure, there are better quality turkeys, but you're gonna pay through the ass because those farms aren't producing at the same scale and can't sell to the stores for less, and there definitely wouldn't be enough to go around for all the people buying turkey every year. But if more people buy from those small farms, they can't upscale that same process to cover all those turkeys, so they'll resort to factory farming as well to keep up with the demand. It's very much a similar problem as complaining about traffic when you are also traffic. The only solution is to opt out but we live in a society and opting out can have consequences.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

All of that is an excellent point. I’m only speaking to the quality though.

It’s probably a good thing that everyone can get a turkey for thanksgiving for $15, and you can make them taste very good. If they really just sucked then people wouldn’t still be buying 100 million turkeys a year lol. The cheap ones are perfectly fine for the vast majority of people.

I’m more speaking to OPs point of rather having a brisket or standing rib roast over turkey for thanksgiving. Both of those are extremely expensive compared to a turkey. Cheapest standing rib roast I saw even at Costco was $130 and a brisket will run you upwards of $50 at Costco and well over $100 at most regular grocery stores most of the time too. For those prices you absolutely within range of buying from a high quality producer and the difference will be night and day from a mass produced butterball.

Definitely not everyone can afford that, nor could production ever keep up that high quality to meet mass demand either. But for someone already willing to spend $100+ for their main thanksgiving meat, trying a very high quality turkey might be worth it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'd be happy to find some way that turkey could be prepared that I would be amazed with. Really, I would. But I've been disappointed time after time. And it's not like it was 'bad' turkey or whatever, other people would seem to be really enjoying it. So, I felt like somehow I just 'didn't get it'.

There's plenty of ways I like chicken and duck, but for me beef or lamb are what really satisfies me.

I'll have it again I'm sure, but I'd never request it or make it for myself.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

I did a lot of research before hosting a decade ago, and have now had to host all future thanksgivings since I am apparently the only one in the family who can make a decent turkey. Read on at your own risk:

  1. Turkey bag or a covered roasting pan is a must. Turkey gets very dry easily.
  2. Carefully lifting the skin away from the meat (without ripping it!) will allow you to put an entire stick of herb butter between the meat and the skin.
  3. Flavor injectors are another essential. Just a salty mix of basically Worcestershire sauce and vegetable oil and garlic and pepper. About a half cup total injected all the way in the meat every few inches. Back the injector out partway and push back in on a new path a few times for adequate coverage.
  4. Inside the bag or roasting pan should have some veggies. These cook down to help make a better gravy but I think also just provide more steam to keep the turkey moist.
  5. Sliced apple in the neck might be a myth but I do it anyways haha.
  6. Meat thermometer to make sure you don't overcook it. Should be slid into the meat like a millimeter away from the inside cavity in the thickest part of the turkey.
  7. Let the turkey "rest" in the pan or bag for an hour after you pull it out of the oven, otherwise the very hot juices will just evaporated away when you start carving.
  8. Carving direction matters. YouTube it. Basically, you remove half of the entire breast in one go and put that on a cutting board and cut it like a bread loaf.

Seriously I used to hate turkey but with all the above I actually look forward to it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Have you tried smoked? It really is nice. But generally yeah, I'd rather just eat a nice vegetarian dish than a bland turkey.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Dry brined and smoked turns out incredible each time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Butterball" sounds so good though

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just add butter to your turkey! Butter makes everything better. I think chefs would consider it sacrilegious for me to do so, but I even add a little bit of butter to duck. Helps it crisp up nicely.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

+1 to this

We use 2-3 sticks of butter (+smoked paprika/salt) minimum to coat the outside of the turkey. Seals in a ton of moisture and makes it much better.