this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2023
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Me too, I think. I mean she keeps telling me that and acting like it, but I guess I have PTSD or something because we're a year in and on the inside I can't convince myself of it.
I feel like she's either lying or doesn't understand herself well enough to know how she'll react if I really show all my feelings. Especially since there are conflicting signals. For example she says she likes that I make her feel safe. Well, will she still feel safe if she knows how vulnerable I am? I just can't bring myself to really believe it, after so many relationships teaching me the opposite.
I had the exact same problem at the beginning and I solved it by accident. A couple of months ago we went to the movies and watched Guardians of the Galaxy 3 (stupid movie, do not recommend). So I started crying when
Spoiler
that fucking cyborg rabbit died.I understand that this is kind of a all-in situation. Eighter wreck your shit forever or change your life for the better forever. So thats horrifying. But at least you have the chance to finally quell your fears?
Edit: I love how the spoiler tag does not work on Memmy.