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‘The Onion’ Stands With Israel Because It Seems Like You Get In Less Trouble For That
(www.theonion.com)
this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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I always heard it the other way around. That restoring Israel would bring about the End Times, but also that the End Times are a good thing because it means the Kongdom of God will finally be realized. I went to a pentecostal summer camp, though, so that might have something to do with it.
It's a prerequisite of the Christian rapture for the Jews to control Israel and Jerusalem.
So basically, they think that the Jews need to be in charge over there so that the sky daddy can abduct people up to heaven when the apocalypse comes. Literally batshit insane. It sounds like something a schizophrenic person came up with.
It likely is.
Just like “bipolar disorder” used to be called “manic depression”, “schizophrenia” used to be called “prophecy”.
I bet God's dick is so big that when He wears protection it's called the Kongdom of God
Lol, didn't even notice. I'm leaving it