this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2025
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So I recently found out my ex wife had a type. A type she desperately wanted me to fit into. A type that she would make me go to clothing stores for specific shirts that look good on pretty much no one but Henry Cavill.
I did not look like Henry Cavill. Turns out around the time we divorce she goes through this phase swooning over Henry Cavill. Then she cheats on me with a dude I don't know the name of (except I've unfortunately seen his dick) and low and behold he has this kind Henry Cavill build.
Fast forward several years to now. I lost about 100lbs. Started lifting. Getting swole cause it was fun now that my body was smaller. Ate more protein, added creatine. Drink lots of water. I need different shirts. I dig out some old shirts, the only ones that sort of fit well are the ones she got at clothing stores that look good on pretty much no one but Henry Cavill. Turns out they still don't look good on me, not because I'm not Henry Cavill, but I'm not a fuckboy.
Real talk, I thought this was going to end with you going to Henry Cavill's house to punch him in his perfect jaw, followed by an enemies to lovers twist.
This is still good though. I guess.
That would have been a better ending.
And quite possibly a viable ending. He's a nerd, I'm a nerd. He plays Warhammer 40k I paint Warhammer 40k minis. He likes to act, I used to like to act. He works out. I started working out.
Hell, we might be the kind of dudes to be actually good friends. My ex would probably use the connection to try and get with him, and he could like turn her down. That'd be more awesome than I could ever imagine.