this post was submitted on 30 May 2025
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33
How do you deal with the mortality of your parents? (lemmy.ml)
submitted 3 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] -2 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

That's fantastic, and perhaps you don't need to but it can certainly help. And I'm sorry for your repeated losses in the span of a decade, truly.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sure, I get that it helps people and I don't begrudge them that. Just seems like a weirdly specific thing to add to a list of things to deal with grief. 'Believe in something' I would get, 'Believe in this specific thing' struck me as a little odd.

And thanks, it was a rough 10 years, but I'm doing much better now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Atheist married to a Catholic here: It’s not odd for religious people to share their religious perspective. It’s inextricably part of the fabric of their life and their worldview, and for them it’s relevant to the question OP asked.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

No, it's not odd for people to share their religious perspective. I do, however, find it a little odd for people to offer it as specific advice for how to cope with grief to randos on the internet whose beliefs you have no idea about. Hence my suggestion of the more general 'believe in something.'

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Okay but you don’t find it odd but you described it as “weird”-ly specific. My advice is relax and remember that just because someone mentions Jesus in front of you doesn’t mean you’re being assaulted. It goes both ways too — just because you mention atheism in a room full of religious people is no cause for you to feel sheepish. This is the equilibrium you should strive for.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Uhh, ok, simmer down there champ, we need to clear some things up.

  1. We were talking about two different things here. What I initially described as 'odd' was the idea of inserting the requirement of specific belief in the (presumably Protestant Evangelical) Christian god into the advice one might offer to a stranger on how to deal with grief. In my reply to you I was responding specifically to your more broad statement about sharing religious perspectives in general when I said 'No, it's not odd...'. So, no, I don't find 'it' (sharing religious views in general) odd, but I very much do find 'it' (inserting said requirement about specific beliefs) both odd and weirdly specific. As I thought I made clear with the very next sentence:

I do, however, find it a little odd for people to offer it as specific advice for how to cope with grief to randos on the internet whose beliefs you have no idea about.

  1. Have you ever noticed how when you put two words next to each other they can sometimes mean something a little different, especially when you put 'ly' at the end of the first one, than what those same two words would otherwise mean when they're alone? 'Weirdly specific' isn't weird (or any other synonym thereof) and specific, it's specific in a weird way. A good example of it working the other way is the sentence I just quoted above: note how 'odd' and 'specific' aren't adjacent and there isn't any pesky 'ly' in there to confuse things, so their normal meanings apply.

My advice is relax

  1. I'm sorry, you're going to have to explain to me how my honestly pretty chill comment gave you the idea that I was in any way uncalm. Maybe start with how, exactly, you got 'Help I'm being assaulted' from 'Huh that's a little odd'.