Greentext

6542 readers

646 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

Early_To_Risa

563

My favorite, classic greentext (lemmy.world)

submitted 4 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/greentext

23 comments fedilink hide all child comments

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 24 points 4 weeks ago (1 children)

Well he only realised it's a snake after grabbing it so methinks both were surprised.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) (1 children)

I think you're right. Man I wish this story was true. Sorry snake.

Edit: Although the snake would have still had to

Realize it was grabbed
Turn head around
Identify target
Attack

[–] [email protected] 20 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Snakes apparently have a reaction time of 30 to 50 milliseconds, while the average human has a reaction time of 200 milliseconds. The snake would have bitten him and ran away before he would have had the opportunity to lift it from the ground.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 4 weeks ago (2 children)

Reaction time != time to strike in this situation. The snake would first have to assess the situation - say you picked it up so the head points away, it would either have to launch it's upper body up vertically to strike (probably not that easy/fast) or turn around to be able to strike the kid.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Herpetologist checking in. The snake doesn't assess shit. Animals use instincts first before anything else. Deer hears a noise, it bolts, then it assess.

Same with snakes. They feel vibrations, catch any glimpse of anything, get touched, they strike. Snakes are stupid. Snakes are also stupid fast. That boi would have been bit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 weeks ago

Thank you, that makes sense!

[–] loutr 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Let's settle on "far-fetched". As for the "gay" part, I assume we're all in agreement. Let's move on to the next shitpost, shall we?

[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

The guy touched a snake that wasn't his own. Can't get much gayer than that.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 weeks ago

No one could be gayer than someone named the "snake charmer"