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The thing that can make up for lower Android longevity is the custom ROMs that might be out there (especially for common models like your pixel!) I do love the smoothness of the Apple ecosystem but alas I cannot afford it. I quite like Linux anyway.
You are right that the tech-savy can extend their longevity through custom ROMs, but that isn't for the average user. And you shouldn't have to resort to that to begin with.
The update policy just makes otherwise great phones become obsolete (in some ways) way too fast.
Sony smartphones for example are imo great in many ways (e.g. still retain the headphone jack and sd card slot) outside of being pricey. Yet they only get 2 years of updates (and maybe slightly longer security updates). That's just not acceptable in any world. Especially when you might not want to buy them at lauch price, since unlike iphones you can get decent discounts on androids for older models.