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Revolt is F/OSS
https://github.com/revoltchat/
It's not just a company with a clone of Discord, all the server back end, etc is open.
Yes, which is good, but the lack of federation is a deal-breaker. It means that you either:
Until Revolt adds a way for different instances to federate, Matrix is really the only other option.
My experience with Matrix is that the federation itself is a deal breaker. I have a pretty beefy server and good connection which was getting ddosed by running Matrix and timing out on so many requests for avatars/profiles etc. Maybe I did something wrong, but the whole experience rendered me quite skeptical to the viability of it as a federated chat.
That said I've had nothing but good experiences using it with big servers set up by pros.
I get why Federation can cause issues (most of the time it's moderation related), but why would an extra option be a deal-breaker? Federation can always be disabled on a per-domain basis if you prefer. In fact, I'd argue it's best practice to only allow domains on a case-by-case basis to prevent spam and abuse.
On the converse, you can't enable Federation on a platform that doesn't have it.
They were talking about matrix itself, not a specific option. And I’m not going to lie, having to hand hold your servers federation choices seems like a hassle. At that point why not just use a self hosted, non federated option?
I think the point they're making is you can effectively have a self hosted non federated option with Matrix. Just disable federation as a whole (which I'm pretty sure is completely possible. Given companies use matrix for comms, and might not want federation, for similar reasons to what is being discussed here)
Why would an optional feature be a deal breaker?
It also seems like an issue that could be easily solved by whitelisting.
Because the person they're responding to said the lack of the optional feature was a deal breaker for them on a different piece of software.
but also with request ratelimiting
That doesn't really change that it's one company hosting it. Unless you're willing to make 10 different accounts because your super-FOSS friends aren't willing to join each others instances?
I guess the easy solution here to to make it use oauth2 authentication. Then you can just authenticate using one account elsewhere. If fediverse services also at some point become oauth2 providers, then even better.
That's still not a solution. That entails non unified communication, access, and search. Making it easy to log in to others still doesn't solve easy sharing between others. Also oauth2 is a pain to set up, and many people hosting their own instance aren't going to bother.
Sorry but what exactly do you communicate and access between discord servers? Are you talking about PMs which are by default independent of servers?
Unified search could easily be achieved through third party tools at the least, like for IRC. I don't think even discord has unified search between servers.
Oh hey, you're totally right, that's crazy. I use Beeper (hosted matrix setup) to aggregate my chats and I guess I've always been using that to search across all servers without realizing. Fully thought the DM search would also search across servers.
DMs are definitely also another case though - you can't easily DM people on another server if that requires you to log into another server.
That's true about DM, however DMs are not a core use-case for discord-like services. It's the group/voice chats etc. I could see a workaround like lemmy does, where if you want to DM a user in another server, you might be able to do it through your fediverse instance (i.e. a DM simply has your fediverse instance DM their fediverse instance), but I'm sure there can be more elegant things like. However DMs by themselves are a weird thing by themselves, so much so, that even bluesky had to bolt DMs on-top and outside of their protocol.
...theoretically for now
It a centralized server controlled by the devs
Host your own then