Ask Lemmy
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Couple of questions:
Are you safe?
Do you have food, shelter and non toxic people around you?
Can you go to therapy or group therapy?
How exactly your family abandoned you?
In what way do you want to grow? What do you wish to change?
With that vague statement we all will be making a bunch of wrong assumptions that aren't relevant to your situation. Can you explain a bit more what's going on?