this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2023
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[–] jbrains 83 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Offering a concise answer to questions, without softening language.

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

To be fair though, sincerity without empathy is just assholeness. There are way to many people justifying their asshole behaviors with β€œbeing sincere”.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

Those people are being insincere.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Yeah, people are complicated. Honest opinions might hurt when expressed too harshly, and the hostility might prevent them from being received at all

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In addition:

Beating around the bush, with way too soft language.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Sometimes there are moments where some people have different life experiences which lead to different stimuli of insight. These people may potentially take criticism roughly and may need some easing and gentleness. Such people may have the tendency to withdraw or lose confidence upon hearing relatively short messages with no emotional context and then perceive them having negative intent or feeling that they are not worth you time. They may want to talk to sit and form connections instead of pure efficiency of communication. (/s?)

I enjoy shaping bushes. Great memories.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That is true. And on the other hand, or perhaps just by handling their experiences differently, we have those who dislike or even might be offended by being "babyed" or carefully handled/talked down to, and would much rather have an up front interaction where they feel mutually respected.

Both kinds of people exist, and that is fine. One must just not mistake soft language as universal tool that can be used everywhere, or risk standing out as an "asshole".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

What a nice and beautiful response, asshole!

(Sorry.. Couldn't help myself. I'm sure you're a lovely person)

As someone below commented, empathy matters. Knowing the audience is key, whether you're giving the middle finger or giving a thank you speech.

You reminded me of this moment: https://youtu.be/up0d6cZQhIU

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

The way you can tell the difference between honesty and being an asshole is of they say they just "tell it like it is," they're assholes.

This is a joke, not a rule, but it's based in reality.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This seems to be a cultural quirk in North America in particular.

[–] jbrains 4 points 1 year ago

Indeed, I feel quite at home in northern Europe, generally speaking.