this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2024
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If I were an evil engineer I’d make retractable benches built into the walls that cost money to pull out. If I were a public official I’d have a subscription package for $60/yr that lets you use all the benches in the city. Must have a valid drivers license to purchase.
I would let anyone extend the bench but if the systems detects the user doesn't have a valid subscription it folds back into the wall compressing the person into a chunky soup.
I would name these benches after our favorite economic model - the meat grinder.
The detection algorithm is also trash and may decide to eat you anyway, as well.
It's not a bug, it's a feature.
I would go sleep on one the night my subscription is about to expire.
Until they finally just make the suicide booths, people would just use your benches.
(I absolutely think we can/are able to normalise this)
I hope you're not either of those things...
I would hack that system and provide cards to homeless people that give them free access to all benches in the city.
Boom, problem solved. With capitalism!