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The Onion buys rightwing conspiracy theory site Infowars with plans to make it ‘very funny, very stupid’ (www.theguardian.com)

submitted 2 weeks ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

25 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/28088684

Here’s Why I Decided To Buy ‘InfoWars’ By Bryce P. Tetraeder, Global Tetrahedron CEO ☞ https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/

And let me say, I really do see it as a family. Much like family members, our brands are abstract nodes of wealth, interchangeable assets for their patriarch to absorb and discard according to the opaque whims of the market. And just like family members, our brands regard one another with mutual suspicion and malice.

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[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

They're going to release completely absurd and hilarious conspiracy theories and the regular followers of InfoWars who didn't know about the change of ownership won't even see the difference.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

They start selling dick pills that are slightly larger every month until they are the size of a bar of soap. Anyone who complains is told they aren't 'man' enough to take their dick pills.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

"I've got good news for you. It's a suppository"

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

"Potatoes are source of smelly alien goo, if left in back of pantry unattended for 3 months"

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!"

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Conspiracy crap tends to be pretty absurd as it is. Comping up with writings that surpass that level of stupidity and insanity is not a trivial task. Hats off to anyone who can come up with anything that competes with lizard people or flat earth fantasies.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Birds: Are they real?

Forget the second shooter theory, the real conspiracy was that there was a second JFK. The one you saw die was just a lab grown clone.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

JFK's head just did that