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36yo, I'm in the middle of tunnel currently.
I'm a spoiled, privileged shit. I have a very nice family, good friends, money to live comfortably in a big city. But my life is miserable still: after a succession of failures, I hate my job and suffer painful lonelyness, and I'm too shy to do what most normal human beings do.
I'm almost out of depression but I've yet to go through the reinvent yourself part. I feel like I'm going backwards.
I feel like that's the opposite of what the question asks. Ask me to delete if needed.
Try to go on walks in nature, maybe get out of the city sometimes. You don't want to go with anyone but maybe have some music to listen to. Hugs and good luck, you're doing your best.
Sometimes it helps to just get out of your comfort zone, it's hard, it's painful, and sometimes you end up just looking like an ass. You just grab a crazy thought and run with it. You don't necessarily have to fly off to Uruguay and drop off the face of the Earth, but just go out to a part of town you haven't been to, connect with an old friend, or go to some event you've never been to before. Take a pottery class, act in a play, go get food from a questionable, broken-down food truck in a shady part of town, write a shitty novel during NaNoWriMo, whatever. I find myself getting into ruts on occasion, where I'm almost too comfortable with life and it gets depressing somehow, it's hard getting out of it sometimes, but just getting into a novel situation can jumpstart something inside sometimes, just don't always go with the expectation of "finding someone". Loneliness is tough, but in a way it's freedom from constraints and responsibility.
Sounds like you're doing your best. Hope you come out the other side of the tunnel better for it.
What does bring you joy?
Often times we focus on what doesn't bring us happiness instead of what does.