One that comes to mind for me: "Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is not always true. Maybe even only half the time! Are there any phrases you tend to hear and shake your head at?
this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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"Grow up and live in the real world" / "Life's not fair" / other thought-terminating cliches used to shut down anyone who wants the world to be a better place than it is. Like, I fucking know it's an unfair place. The whole point is that I would like for it to be less unfair.
I got told "life isn't fair" so many times growing up, I came up with a default comeback: "Doesn't mean you have to be."
A version of it has grown to became my tenet in life: "The universe doesn't care, so we have to."
It's not as pithy, but I think "Just because you didn't get your way, doesn't mean it's unfair" would be a better sentiment for adults to tell children.
Or "I don't fucking care what happened, I just don't want to hear you whine about it". Hardly an acceptable way to talk to children, but I think it's what adults in my life meant when I was a child.
When someone who's trying to exploit me says that, I literally just beat the hell out of them to remind them how right they are and that their means of dominance isn't the only one. Real world strikes again! This time it's the reason we have manners!
I hate how "well life is just not fair" shuts down so many very much needed discussions.
That being said, I say that a lot, especially to myself whenever someone, again, including myself, is being intolerable brat who thinks they deserve fairness. No, that's not how world works.
Funny thing is that those kind of people tend to not care about other people's struggle or fairness.
Why do you think anyone does not deserve to be treated fairly?
I believe treating people fairly, obviously.
But you'll have hard times that don't seem so fair; car accident, illness.. What I meant by people not deserving fairness is for that kind of things
"Life isn't fair" always bothered me, even as a kid, because it was used against me to dismiss unjust actions.
Saying something isn't fair is basically saying it's not right, it's not just.
Trying to claim the injustice against me is moot or unimportant just because there's lots of injustice in the world, seems bonkers to me.
It's an accurate statement. Life isn't fair, or right, or just. However, it ignores the fact that we as humans can choose to try to make it those things.
I actually am guilty of using that when people try to tell me "there's someone out there for everyone." Or "don't worry, you'll find someone who loves you for you."
Like no? Life isn't fair, there's no guarantee of anything.
To your point I agree though, discussing what we'd like to improve is important.
"You'll find someone who loves you for you," is totally true, as long as you are also continuously lowering your standards until you find them.
It's true though. Saying this is not necessarily meant to be the end of a discussion.
Everyone knows that, though. So what's the point of saying it when someone is trying to make things more fair?
Because saying things, even if they are known, is a thing humans do for various reasons. It seems that sometimes they need to be reminded simple truth.
Nah. Someone lamenting that the world is unfair and needs to change does not need to be reminded that the world is unfair.