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Couch fucker and dolphin lover JD Vance sure is creepy and weird.
It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.
I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.
You misunderstand the game here.
That’s true
No amount of fact checking can ever prove that conclusively. You can’t really prove a negative.
So… JD VANCE, COUCHFUCKER EXTRAORDINAIRE
Their comment is extremely sarcastic. I think they understand that game.
How the hell do you know? It's 100% impossible to recognise saracasm in text.
/s
^/s^
What's sar-cas-um?
Oh. Right.
Many such cases
Though you can within a timeframe, right?
That's why he can say he never fucked a couch in the last five years
"Something something absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."
of course he'd hang with dolphins. They're rapey bastards.
Can a couch give informed consent?
Was the couch old enough for the age of consent?
Of course Vance didn't have sex with a couch!
He raped a couch
I dunno. But I'm guessing they wouldn't if they could.
I’ll bet Vance would drop acid and jerk a dolphin off too…
"You're a weird guy, Vance. A weird guy."
I mean, it sounds like an interesting weekend at least
Did JD Vance rape and murder a couch in 1990?
We're just asking questions here
Yes. Being a rapist is right of passage to becoming a republikkklown
Oh no, I haven't heard about the dolphin yet. This man is getting ripped to shreds.