this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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[–] [email protected] 118 points 3 months ago (4 children)

Couch fucker and dolphin lover JD Vance sure is creepy and weird.

[–] [email protected] 52 points 3 months ago (2 children)

It’s crazy that people think JD Vance had sex with a couch. There’s no evidence JD Vance had sex with a couch. It’s liberals that are perpetuating the idea that JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance has specifically denied that he has had bare skin contact with a couch within a 5 year period. It’s ludicrous that JD Vance was banned from a Cleveland area IKEA after having intercourse with a KIVIK Sofa Chaise.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch. JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

You misunderstand the game here.

I’ll repeat, there is no evidence to believe JD Vance had sex with a couch.

That’s true

JD Vance is not a couchfucker.

No amount of fact checking can ever prove that conclusively. You can’t really prove a negative.

So… JD VANCE, COUCHFUCKER EXTRAORDINAIRE

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Their comment is extremely sarcastic. I think they understand that game.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

How the hell do you know? It's 100% impossible to recognise saracasm in text.
/s
^/s^

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Many such cases

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

You can’t really prove a negative

Though you can within a timeframe, right?

That's why he can say he never fucked a couch in the last five years

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

"Something something absence of evidence is not evidence of absence."

[–] [email protected] 40 points 3 months ago (2 children)

of course he'd hang with dolphins. They're rapey bastards.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Can a couch give informed consent?

[–] [email protected] 17 points 3 months ago

Was the couch old enough for the age of consent?

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago

Of course Vance didn't have sex with a couch!

He raped a couch

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

I dunno. But I'm guessing they wouldn't if they could.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (2 children)

I’ll bet Vance would drop acid and jerk a dolphin off too…

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

"You're a weird guy, Vance. A weird guy."

  • Dan Marino
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I mean, it sounds like an interesting weekend at least

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago (2 children)

Did JD Vance rape and murder a couch in 1990?

[–] [email protected] 33 points 3 months ago

We're just asking questions here

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Yes. Being a rapist is right of passage to becoming a republikkklown

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Oh no, I haven't heard about the dolphin yet. This man is getting ripped to shreds.