this post was submitted on 03 Jun 2024
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been there, done that.
stay strong.
been happier alone for the past 5 years then i ever was when i was with cluster b ladies. they make your life a living hell.
but it's hard to date women who aren't super into you the way cluster b women are. i've had women say they are interested in me the past few years... but they never make me feel like they are... they seem totally disinterested. cluster b woman actually make a very concerted effort to get involved with you... the average woman expects you to do all the work in that regard, ime.
Of course, the BPD women are love bombing you as a technique to manipulate you specifically, so in the end it really isn't that good. I'm working on it too, so I'm gonna say "we" here, but we have to work on retraining our brains to not need that intense feeling anymore if we expect to have a normal healthy relationship again.
initial attraction/chemistry is all that matters to 99% of people. training or not, that's just life. It's why drugs are fun, gambling is awesome, and fatty sugar foods taste so good.
that's why cluster b people, male or female, are so great at dating. they create the sparks with most everyone. normies don't. especially given heteronormative gender roles where women are passive in dating.
I mean sure, you could succumb to your base desires, or you could rise above for your own betterment and to avoid being trapped in the same cycle of abuse. Up to you really!
very few people are capable of doing that dude.
your solution doesn't scale.
I'm making progress, personally, and I doubt your assumption that I'm better or more capable than most. Maybe, but I know me and that doesn't really check out, most things that I can do, others can also learn to do even if it doesn't just come naturally.
pro NFL people tell little kids they can be pro NFL players too. They are lying. most pro players are genetically elite. you can't 'learn' to play football at an NFL level unless you the genetics. just go to any kids sports game and every dipshit dad will tell you how his son is gonna be a pro one day.
reality is most of us are VERY limited in what we can and can't do and very people operate beyond a surface level and can self-actualize in any meaningful way. hence why so many dudes i ride bikes with hire pro coaches to keep them in shape... they can't do it themselves. I can... but I am a statistical anomaly.
generalizing from your own experience and abilities is always a fools errand. what is theoretically possible and what is practical possible are two very different things.
I think there's a slight difference between the talent required (to say nothing of the work required) to become a professional athlete and "realizing that love bombing is actually something to avoid rather than indulge in." The latter seems more akin to quitting drugs or alcohol, which "normal" non-professional athletes do daily.
I don't think it's simply genetics rather than actual work (preferably with a therapist) and frankly it seems like you're just trying to minimize my experience with a defeatest attitude. Well, if that's your attitude, you're right you'll never be able to because you'll never bother to try, since you aren't some genetic supermutant who can control things like "don't do heroin" or "don't eat the third cookie," or "don't date the girl who is clearly trying to manipulate you with lovebombing." Is a relapse possible? Always. But does that mean only Tom Brady can benefit from therapy and quit dating toxic people or quit substances? No. Far from it.