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I'm not advocating anyone buy a gun, mind you. My general opinion on guns is the same about cars: the only person I truly trust to operate one is me; the rest of all y'all are just generally unreliable.
That said: get a long gun. Any non-Bulpup rifle with a 20” or longer barrel - it's really hard to commit suicide with a long rifle. You can find a way, sure, but there are far easier, more reliable ways to off yourself than trying to figure out how to pull a trigger you can't reach when the bangy end is pointed at your head. And the knowledge that most people who try doing this end up still alive but permanently mangled and with reduced faculties may drive you to seek those alternative methods.
Another plus for a rifle is that it's simply a better weapon for killing fascists. We have a lot of evidence that handguns are almost never used in armed conflicts. They're far less powerful than rifles (in general), and their effective ranges are drastically shorter. Get a cheap optic, do some practice shooting, and you'll be better armed and prepared than any open-carry idiot running around armed only with their trusty Colt M1911 with official Trump pistol grips.
I really wish that last part was a joke.
I don't mean to come across as minimizing mental health issues. I also can't prevent you from trying to off yourself. All that said, I hope you are able to get help, and get healthy.
Hey thanks, this is an idea that I hadn't thought much about and I'll have to consider it. I also need consider storage and how to get to a range without a car but those things are workable.
As for my mental health, I'm doing well and feel in a good place all around. I got married a year and a half ago and have a stable life. I'm doing good. This will have to be a process if I'm going to buy a rifle but your arguments have opened me to the idea.
Glad to hear you're in a more stable place! I know it's a constant struggle; rarely do people just "get better" and never gave issues again, but I'm glad that you're on top of it.
Open carry is legal almost everywhere in the US. You could literally put a sling on it, strap it on your back, and ride your bike to the range. If you shoot a common caliber, you can buy ammo when you get there (assuming it's a range in or near a store). You'd need to check your local laws about what you need to do to open carry a gun and ammunition; like, can you have it in a protective case?
Anyway, good luck with your journey.