this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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[–] [email protected] 122 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

I mean, your parents thought of you, tried to connect, listened, then started lining up care.

Parents be winning.

If you thought you'd get out of your teenage years without death-by-embarrassment, you're kidding yourself.

To connect with you, my parents discovered the evidence of long term daily self harm when I was in a bike crash and was unconscious. They otherwise believed me happy and healthy. That wasn't a fun conversation in the hospital, with a concussion.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 13 points 3 months ago (1 children)

As a parent, most of us just want to help, but it's incredibly hard to know what's going on inside your head.

I was a kid once too, and I know how hard dealing with parents can be. But I also know that every time I opened up, they attempted to help. Give it a shot, unless they're actually abuse.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Even today when my daughter is a self sufficient adult, whenever she calls for advice, the first thing I do is bring my mind back in time to when I was that age and remember what was going through my head when a similar situation to hers arose.

It's not natural for me to do this. I have to make conscious effort. But it's proven to give me better perspective and increases her level of trust with me.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea 5 points 3 months ago

Yup, the age old "listen" and "consider things from their perspective." If you can master that (incredibly difficult), you'll master all forms of social interaction, not just parenting.