this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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How do you sanitise the area to prevent infection? If you get surgery on the rusty sheriff's badge, how does it not get infected the next time you lay an otter egg? Do they connect a colostomy bag in that case, to give it time to heal?

You can get a lethal infection from a paper cut if the right (see: wrong) bacteria get into it. Short of piledriving a snooker cue coated with hand sanitiser, I don't know how a filthy corridor of doom like the excretory system can be kept free of bacteria after Dr. Bussy Torn MD has been rooting around in there with his weed whacker.

Surely antibiotics aren't enough on their own to prevent infection? Anywhere else in the body, sure, but the chucklet waterpark is like ground zero for biological malevolence. It would be like wearing nothing but a steel showercap to keep mosquitos from biting you.

What dark arts are surgeons invoking here?

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[–] [email protected] 51 points 8 months ago (3 children)

I had ass surgery last year, the doctors went in through my asshole and removed a tumor (about 5cm long) from my colon about 15cm in from the hole. They used a super cool tool and except for the discomfort of having people dig around in my ass, with multiple people watching, and a sting as they applied the local anesthetic it was perfectly fine. The whole thing took about 1 hour from getting into the hospital, to being back in the car again. The tool they used allowed them to get into the gut, without a full surgery. This tool allowed the doctor to see what she was doing and cut away the tumor with a sort of heat wire cutter. It also had grabbers to pull on the tumor to get it out cleanly. She showed me the tumor when she got it out, proud to show how big of a thing she was able to remove. As the tool used heat to burn the flesh, there was minimal bleeding. I did however bleed from my ass for over two weeks.

The doctor told me to use a bandage on my asshole, to prevent the blood from leaking. Aside from switching out this bandage a couple of times a day, I had to do nothing. It hurt bad for a couple of days and after about a week it was just discomfort. She told me I could poop just as normal and to not force or hold in, just follow the regular schedule and it would be just fine.

As it was explained to me the colon is touching poop all the time and knows how to deal with it. A small burn isn't a big deal for the gut, it won't get infected or be a problem at all. She told me the signs to look for and alert them if any of them showed. Then they could use some medication to deal with things like infections. But luckily it all went fine, pooping didn't hurt more than just existing did and there were no complications.

So for small operations through the asshole, the colon can handle it and it won't get infected. The doctors also use tools to for example burn instead of cut to prevent an fully open wound.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm sorry but how do you put a bandage on your asshole in a way that it sticks? All I can imagine is a bandaid and I cannot get that picture out of my head but it seems very useless. A sanitary pad like for periods/postpartum would be my way to go. But a bandage?

Also, I hope your recovery went well! Stay healthy and happy.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

Not in a way that sticks. The bandage I used were three layers of fabric about 10x10cm. Just folding it in between my butt cheeks worked just fine. Everything that leaked was absorbed by the bandage.

[–] xmunk 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I'm a bit surprised you weren't switched to a liquid only diet after the surgery - bleeding in your ass is mostly a problem because bad bacteria has a route to enter your blood stream which can lead to sepsis. I'm glad it all worked out though.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 8 months ago

The amount of blood was very low, not full on bleed. So it was fine according to the doctor.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Did they need to do any other treatment for the tumor? No chemo or anything?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Luckily not, the tumor was sent to the lab and turned out not to be metastatized. So they probably got it all. They do however want me to come back somewhere within the next year to check if there is any more. This scares me a bit, both my grandfather and uncle died from colon cancer. And I'm about that age where that kind of thing happens. But we'll see when they put a camera back in my ass I guess.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 8 months ago

I wish you nothing but the best for your ass