The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Ellf13 on 2025-06-02 20:01:37.

---

My ex and I have been divorced for 2 years. We have 2 kids (8m, 5f). Everything was great until our daughter was born, and then it’s like a switch flipped and he was a completely different person. I held out for as long as I could, but when he began an affair, I filed for divorce.

He fought me every step and it took over a year to finalize. During the divorce I was awarded primary custody. He was ordered to pay support, which he has never done. I don't need it, but it would be nice to have it to save for the kids, so I did sign up for enforcement. I don’t badger him about it - I know to him it’s a way to try to get me to talk to him, I just let enforcement do their thing. Since he’s so far behind, they have suspended just about everything they can. They send notices to him when this happens, but I’m sure he doesn’t open them.

I am a 1st gen American and most of my extended family still lives abroad. My grandmother recently passed away earlier this year and I decided I wanted to visit my family with my kids and see her resting place. Ex and I had some back and forth because I need permission from him to leave the country. He agreed but made a point to tell me that he feels now is a good time to take a vacation and that he was always planning to visit my family’s country. I was already anticipating this because following us is something he does EVERY time I take the kids on a trip. My lawyer drafted a document to be signed and notarized that I was being given permission to take our kids out of the country for the specific dates. She also included a clause that he has up until 72 hours prior to the day of travel to revoke his permission. He agreed.

The day arrives for us to leave, and I get to the airport with the kids 3 hours before our flight. Things go smoothly and I take the kids to a diner to grab some breakfast. Ex arrives much later, and as we’re finishing up I get a call from him. Turns out his passport was revoked due to lack of CS payment. He was denied at check in and there’s no way he can get his passport reinstated without paying his arrears in full.

He said that since he can’t go, he no longer gives me permission to take them. I reminded him that we are past the 72 hrs for him to deny my travel request. He said that he was going to inform an officer that I was trying to kidnap his children. I told him to do whatever he felt was necessary. Officers did show up at the gate to figure out what was going on - but I had the notarized agreement with me, so they sent us on our way.

He kept spamming my phone non stop until we got on the plane, where I was able to turn it off and get some peace for the flight. While we were in the air he called my brother to complain (we met through him and they’re still friends) and I have now been given an earful about how cruel it was for me to continue with the trip knowing he wouldn’t be able to follow us, and that I didn’t tell him on purpose. My mother told him to stay out of it and that it’s no longer my responsibility to remind him to open his mail - but some extended family agree with my brother.

I don’t think I’m the AH for continuing our trip; but I am questioning whether I’m an AH for not giving him a heads up that he should check his passport. I didn’t know it was revoked for sure, but I suspected. AITAH?

Edit to add because I keep seeing this and I can’t keep up with the comments! He can absolutely afford CS. He is self-employed (hence no garnishment unfortunately), but does well. Him not paying is solely a control tactic. He was NOT happy about the divorce. Now he does whatever he thinks will “punish” me for going through with it. That includes purposely withholding support. However, I make decent money (enough to pay bills, put a little savings away for the kids, and take them to do fun stuff a couple times a year) - so it really doesn’t affect me. He knows that the money would go right to the kids savings accounts, but expects me to beg him for it. Eventually it will catch up to him and he’ll have to pay it some way or other, it’s just him prolonging the inevitable and making things more difficult for himself.

Also, I don’t know why this isn’t clear (at least for 1 person that keeps falsely stating it over and over on different comments), but we were NOT going on vacation together. At all. Nothing was planned together. This was solely a trip for me and the kids. The document stated it was for me and the kids and that I would be taking full responsibility for them. It was not and never was a “WE” are taking the kids on vacation, that was made extremely clear to him and he understood. So him being unable to leave the country for HIS vacation, had absolutely no bearing on OUR trip as they were two distinctly separate travel arrangements.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/mermaidpaint on 2025-06-02 02:21:12.

---

My (29M) cousin (26F) is currently in financial trouble because she moved into a house that is way out of her budget. She has no steady job, relies on odd jobs here and there, and has a terrible spending habit like, she buys $6 lattes every day and eats out constantly.

I warned her before she signed the lease that this place was too expensive, but she insisted she “deserved a nice place.” Fast forward three months, she can’t pay the rent. She’s now asking ME (who has my own bills, student loans, and rent to cover) for money “just until she gets back on her feet.”

I said no. I told her I love her, but I warned her from the start that this house was too expensive and I can’t be her safety net every time she makes a bad decision. She flipped out and called me a fake cousin, a snob, and said I was letting her “become homeless.”

Now her mom is calling me, saying I’m heartless and family should help each other. I feel like I’m being emotionally blackmailed for her financial irresponsibility.

AITA for refusing to cover the rent on a house I warned her she couldn’t afford?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-06-01 20:33:20.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/JC1199154 on 2025-05-31 06:36:09.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/lchase324 on 2025-05-30 16:24:19.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sl0th_luvr on 2025-05-30 04:29:45.

---

I am sharing on reddit anonymously because I don't know who to discuss this problem with.

My wife and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 kids.

After the second child she had post partum depression. It was so tough that it lead to her having to leave her career, and me taking on all financial responsibilities. I had recommended we try couples therapy which totally backfired - rather than focus on how we can improve, it was heavily focused on the initial root of the relationship... Which included me dating multiple women when we first started. This was known but caused insecurity and a lack of trust at a core level. I understood the therapist's intent to get to the core of our relationship issues, but I felt the sessions were focused on my issues, rather than OUR issues. Even my wife would say out loud when heading in "time for us to go find out how fucked up you are" - I could laugh, but she operated like the weight of the relationship's issues were on me. So post partum, my wife was sleeping in and I was feeding our kids, cleaning, and working, and spending an hour every 2 weeks getting torn apart by a therapist - my wife was doing litte to support our relationship and our family.

Okay, so that was 3 years ago. We made it through this bump by instilling date nights. Every week we have a babysitter and a date night. Also we started having sex more. That genuinely helped. She still does not clean, cook, or help with chores - and these are small things but it obviously continues to bother me. We had another kid a year a half ago!

Last week she realized she missed her period. On Saturday she took a pregnancy test, an old one we had lying around, and it showed a faint line. She still went out for drinks that night with friends. We were like shit you might be pregnant. Hurray? Mostly hurray? Kind of anxiety inducing.

Sunday morning I buy her two new pregnancy tests. Me. I went out for it. I think that's an important note. I was the one that bought them and was anxious about it. She does it. The line shows up stronger. Crazy! She is pregnant! She had plans for brunch. Noon. She doesn't cancel. She goes out and... Drinks the whole time AND does not come home until dinner time, smashed on martinis. Without me, btw. I am watching the kids. She's maybe 4-5 weeks pregnant. Who knows.

I've been working in an office since Tuesday. But on Monday, she told me she was scared. I told her that's fair - I am scared, too! But we will make it work. Then we had dinner last night and she was... Giving me shit the whole time about how mad she is that she's pregnant. She wasn't on birth control. We did not plan for this. But I think rather than just directly say let's get an abortion, she's just casually trying to cause a miscarriage.

I have kind of evolved from being upset to... being kind of furious and started reaching out to divorce lawyers today while at work.

Do you recommend a divorce?

Edit --

Too many replies.

Two key points-- first, I was not cheating on my now wife when the relationship started. I was dating multiple women at the start of our relationship, and she was also seeing another man. We met in our 20s and we were actively on dating apps at the same time. We committed after 6 months of hooking up. I think that piece is being misunderstood by many responders.

And second, I do not regret having unprotected sex. I will triple down and never apologize for that. We have sex. We are married. It's usually unprotected. This is a decision we both made. A child can happen because of unprotected sex. We are both adults and have had multiple kids. We are well aware of that. We had another kid after the post partum depression 3 years ago. We know how having children works. It doesn't mean we were actively trying. It also doesn't mean we were NOT trying. We've talked about having up to 5 kids in the past. As recently as when the third was born. She went off birth control in January. It relates to her mood and that's her choice to do so. I wasn't consulted about the decision, but I was informed she was off it.

Additionally, many people's anger at us makes me feel my anger was more than justified. We talked tonight. We are likely going to get an abortion, but right now we're working through it and she said she will stop drinking and apologized... We did not even talk divorce.

Thank you for those that offered legitimate advice.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/sherbertqueen on 2025-05-29 20:07:58.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Ok_Watch_8681 on 2025-05-28 20:50:27.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/nennikuchan on 2025-05-28 11:48:46.

---

I (M17) live in a toxic household and I contribute to that but I wanna know if I'm TA for this particular part of it.

So my parents were married and seemed happy when everything fell apart. My mom found out she had a brain tumor and on that same day she found out my dad was sleeping with her best friend. I was 10 at the time and for like 5 weeks life was crazy with my dad and "Hayley" who was meant to be my mom's best friend trying to make her forgive them. My mom started having seizures because of the tumor and I think because of the stress too and she died five weeks and two days after she was diagnosed with her brain tumor.

My dad and Hayley moved in together after my mom died and they decided they would try to raise me and my sister together. My sister was 8 at the time and my dad has said she took her cues from me but we did not accept dad and Hayley and we acted up a lot. I yelled at them, called them names, refused to listen when they asked me to do something and I told other people what they'd done. All of dad's friends, all of Hayley's friends and our neighbors knew and mostly because of me.

I interrupted their wedding a bunch. My sister did but not as much. We wanted to live somewhere else and they refused. They got us all into therapy and I didn't put any work in to fixing things. My dad and Hayley had two kids and I refused to help or care.

I make a point of telling or showing what they are and what I think of them. For my dad that meant cutting him out of photos and I say every now and again that I'll change my last name to mom's (she never changed hers when they married). And I talk about my maternal grandpa being the man I want to most be most like because he's the best guy I know. But with Hayley? I remind her every time that she was supposed to be mom's best friend and she was a backstabber who cheated with my dad instead. And I do this in front of other people if she tries to act like my parent or take praise for my good behavior around other people. She told me I need to stop bringing it up several times but I ignore her. I tell her I won't ever stop.

Her aunt died last week and she told me I needed to help out around the house more while she was with her mom and her cousins. I refused and she told me this is what the oldest sibling and oldest child does and I reminded her I wasn't hers and brought up the affair again. She broke down and I told her I didn't feel sorry for her and she told me she felt guilty enough and like mom haunted her enough and she said I was doing nothing but driving her crazy and making her feel like she had to isolate from everyone because otherwise the whole world would know with the way I act. She told me I was bullying her and that I should go after dad and not her. I told her I'll go after both until I can cut them out of my life for good. Then I told her she didn't deserve to have a happy life after what she did.

My aunt (dad's sister) came over after Hayley called her and she asked me to stop bringing it up. She told me Hayley and my dad don't need to be forgiven but that reminding Hayley like this and shaming her and making it difficult for her to have relationships where people won't know and judge isn't okay because the kids she and dad have together will suffer.

AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-05-27 14:36:29.

---

I am NOT the Original Poster. That is u/DentistBig7041. They posted in r/TrueOffMyChest and their own page.

Thanks to u/crushed_dreams for the rec!

Do NOT comment on Original Posts. The latest post is 7 days old.

Trigger Warning: emotional affair

Mood Spoiler: sad but OOP will be ok

Original Post: May 8, 2024

Title: I got a text from my sister’s bestie about her and my husband “loving me too much” to do anything to hurt me.

My sister’s bestie told me that she feels guilty for being a snitch but that she couldn’t do this to me anymore because she thinks that I am a kind person and don’t deserve this.

My sister and my husband have always got along very well. They’re both brilliant. Both lecturers at the University and they have so much in common. I am not stupid but I never loved school and I have high school education. They have become best friends throughout the years (14 years) but never once did I feel uncomfortable about it since my husband has shown me nothing but love and respect. The opposite. Until now I counted myself lucky that the two people that I love the most in this world get along so well.

But now, I feel nauseated. The bestie sent me screenshots upon screenshots of her conversation with my sister. My sister has feelings for my husband and she appears to know that my husband feels the same way about her too. In one of the texts, my sister wrote that she loved me too much to do anything to hurt me. In another she wrote that I am too dear to both her and my husband to do anything that would hurt me.

She seems to think that they’re soulmates which is odd because the talk about soulmates came up once between my husband and I when I told him that I didn’t want us to be soulmates. He was curious and ask me why, I told him because soulmates meant that we are “programmed” or “destined” to fit together. There’s no free will involved and I want my love to come from a free space not a predestined place. He laughed and said he loved that. But apparently they’re soulmates?

I know that I need to talk to him but I am dreading that. I am in so much despair right now.💔

Relevant Comment:

Commenter: If what the friend sent you is true, you need to take a moment and gather your thoughts before this talk you need to have with your husband, if possible check his phone so you have first hand look at the comunnication not the friends one. If real the emotional affair is more than enough of a betrayal.

OOP: For me even an emotional affair is a deal breaker, unfortunately.

Edit (Same post, Same day)

Hi! Thanks for your help. I asked how I would be sure before asking my husband so he doesn’t just blatantly lie and you suggested to look into his phone. Thanks for your suggestion.

I did now. I told him about my sister’s conversations with her best friend and showed him the screenshots. He was shocked at first and said he had no romantic feelings for her and he had no idea about her feelings, so I asked to see his phone.

I read their texts and emails. And I was shocked that their contact is way more intensive and intense than I thought. They talk on a daily basis. They have lunch multiple times a week. Nothing sexual in the texts but yeah, he is stupid if he “doesn’t know” that she loves him, and he must think that I am stupid if after reading, I wouldn’t get the feeling that he has some feelings too.

In one of her texts, she wrote that she wished they had met first and under different circumstances. His answer wasn’t totally dismissive. He wrote yeah, it would probably have been different. When I asked him about it, he said well yeah, if he didn’t know and love me he would probably have been interested in another, my sister included. But he loves me and she is a close friend of his.

So there’s no sexual relationship between them, but I am not sure that is enough for me. I think they are both wrong and should have nipped it in the bud way earlier. I don’t know what to do now. I think I need time for myself to process this. I don’t feel well at all about this and I don’t want to make decisions from a place of fear and hurt nor convenience.

I am sorry I can’t answer all private messages. Because I don’t use my phone that often. But our ages are: my husband is 45. I am 42. My sister is 38. My husband and I have been together for 16 years and married for 14. My sister is single. I am not a stay at home mom. I have my own business. We don’t have children. My sister has 2 from a previous relationship.

Update (Same Post): May 9, 2024 (Next Day)

So now I have had some long talks and discussions with my husband. He seems to think that this is getting bigger than it is supposed to because I told him that I needed time alone to think and digest this. He said that he doesn’t understand why I am this hurt since he loves me and nobody else. I didn’t relent however and he admitted that he knows that my sister is in love with him because she has told him so. But she knows that nothing can happen between them so she is fine with just friendship(martyr). He loves her but not romantically and he is happy to have a friend like her. Their friendship is important to him and he doesn’t want it to end because I don’t trust him and his love for me.

He made a comparison to my best friend and asked what I would think if he asked me to cut my best friend from my life. He admitted that “intellectually” he has more in common with her than with me but that the heart doesn’t always choose who we are more “compatible” and that he loves and is physically attracted to me. I think this whole situation is messed up. I am repulsed by them both. I texted my sister all her screenshots and she wrote that she was disappointed in her bestie and that “your husband is all yours because I would never let anything happen that would hurt you because you are the most important person to me”

In other words they are both contradicting each other since both seem to believe that they are the one who is not letting a “relationship” between them grow for my sake.

Relevant Comments:

On them meeting for lunch:

About the lunches, he says that it is because they both work at the university and they eat lunch when both are in office. But tgat isn’t true because they don’t work in the same building.

Commenter: How did he act? Was he truly shocked? Why did he hide how intense their communication was?

OOP: He was probably more shocked that my sister is talking to her friend about this. Otherwise he knows everything and probably likes it or he would have stopped it.

Commenter: Other women’s husbands are not your soulmates.

As an academic, i know academics are often very emotionally dysregulated individuals inclined to asbtract and even magical thinking. Are you sure she isn’t delusional? They both sound like idiots.

OOP: They are idiots yes. If I was her, and I had developed feelings to my sister’s husband I would have nibbed it immediately. She is not a heroine for “not wanting to hurt me and sacrificing her happiness instead.

If I was him, I would have immediately gone no contact with someone who has feelings for me (if we are to believe that he doesn’t reciprocate her feelings like he is pretending) if I had any respect for my spouse.

So they are both idiots yes

Update Post: June 15, 2024 (1 month and 1 week later)

I have written here and a few comments about my soon to be ex husband and my sister. I left him about a week after and he texted me day and night about how much he loved me and wanted me back then he just stopped. That’s when I found out that my sister left her children at my parents’ house and moved in with my husband. This made everything come out to the rest of my family and my parents were shocked and my mother really looked like she was already showing ptsd symptoms. About how disgusting she felt this whole thing was. She kept calling it incest and asking is that even legal.

I guess that is how much my sister “cared” not to hurt me(if you read my first post). Even though I have been well composed and calm that I surprised myself, I still tried my hardest to look back on my whole life, childhood and upbringing to understand when it all went so wrong. What my sister did felt like something that was the result of years of resentment or at least indifference towards me and our relationship as sisters, so how did I miss that? She never cared about me did she? If she didn’t how could I have been so blind?

Then not even a week later, I heard that they have ended things. I found out in the oddest way possible. My sister texted me. The first time she texted me since everything started. She just wrote “You b , I hope you burn in life and in hell”. I was very confused because she spent that week sharing cheesy “deep” quotes about love and soul mates and romantic insta stories with my stbxh. But apparently that was over. Stbxh has blocked her everywhere and she moved out. Because she came ...

---

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1kwovce/oops_husband_throws_his_marriage_away_and_now/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/J_S_M_K on 2025-05-27 14:08:25.

---

The original was posted on both Am I the Butthole and relationship advice. It is virtually the same post, so I choose the relationship advice one.

I am not the OOP

Original

update

Original

Disclaimer: we already did the test and he is the father. To no one's surprise

My husband is 32 and I am 27. We got married 2 years ago and have been together for 6 One year ago I fell pregnant and we had our daughter a few months ago.

However he has been very weird during these months. To note is that I am mixed. My dad is a white Spanish man My mom is a dark skinned Latina. I am more light skinned. However many of my family members are really dark. So our daughter was born, and she is somewhat darker than me and inherited our long black hair and sharp characteristics. She looks very much like my mom.

My husband has not been very kosher with this. He kept making jokes about infidelity and I told him to stop.

Then shit hit the fan when I was on a zoom call a month ago.

I have a coworker who is middle eastern. He is the only other person of color in out department. He and I have almost no overlap, we don't work on project together, we don't talk personally. The only links we have is the department group chat and one message between us two almost 2 years ago which concerned a client.

But my husband saw him on the zoom call. He saw how my coworker laughed at one of my jokes (he wasn't the only one) and he immediately accused me of cheating with him.

I was honestly floored. He demanded to see my phone. And he demanded a paternity test. We got in a huge fight and he left. I tried calling, his friend answered. He said that my husband would only be willing to talk, once I have put in the work to build up the trust and do a paternity test. He would only be awalayble for question regarding the test.

I was honestly so mad and was done. I wanted nothing to do within any more. Honestly at this point I did the test mainly so he couldn't dispute paternity because once again... I fucking knew he was the father.

The results came in and my husband is the father. The same day I told him I wanted to separate. He started crying and begging, apologized for how he went about it.

I told him I needed time. He said he would set up a session with a counselor. I told him okay.

Now I'm sitting here. I honestly don't think I can find it in my heart to forgive him. It's one thing to ask for a test...it's another thing for him to treat me like lying scum.

Fuck you Steffen.

update

UPDATE: Is it possible to get over the resentment my husband caused by pushing for a paternity test

To recap :

My husband is white. I am mixed idigeno-Latina/ Spanish. Our daughter came out darker than me and looked like my mom. Husband started treating us badly and joking about infidelity. He saw my middle eastern coworker on a meeting zoom call that had multiple other people in it. Coworker and others laughed at a joke i told. Husband jumped on it and said I was cheating. He left and refused any communication till the results came back. To no one's surprise my daughter is his. I tell him I want to separate. He cries begging to give counseling a shot.

The update

I did end up going to several sessions with my ex. But honestly his actions killed the love I had for him.

Especially because he was kind of sorry but kept making excuses. Saying bs that made my alarm bells sound. And .... who would have thought. I found several forums he was active on that were sexist, racist and homophbic.

He had posted about our situation in a forum that was very incely. He referred to me in derogatory terms. People were telling him that I had "roastbeef"(?)and he was just stability but I was looking for Chad cock.

This made me sick to my stomach. I took screenshots and printed all the things out. I got screengrabs as well.

I called our counselor and told them we were done. Thanks for the service, but I am gonna get a divorce.

I met up with him. He was staying at his friend's place and I was at home. I got the information trough his gaming pc.

When we met up at his parents house, I basically threw the folder to his feet and told him I was fucking done.

Queue crying and begging. I told him no and that he makes me sick. He told me he was weak. And I said that that was true. He didn't want to let go and my MIL had to intervene. Honest to God, that woman never took too much of a liking to me, but she really did shine threw.

She screamed at him and when she saw the folder she told him that this was not the behavior of a strong father. She told him he was nothing but a coward.

My ex stood up and just...screamed. he didn't say anything. Just a horror movie scream. He punched a dry wall and broke a hole into it and left.

My MIL was consoling ME. She told me she was sorry and even tho she personally does not like me, she respects me and appreciates everything I have done.

We hashed out a plan. I want my daughter to have her father in her life. But with him being basically a biggot, we decided that I would go for full custody and would allow visitations if my MIL was present and only at her house.

Right now we are dealing with the divorce process, that he is contesting. What he is not contesting is custody. He seemingly does not want it and has been almost not involved at all with our daughter.

He has texted me that if I don't take him back he would not want custody.

My MIL has been an angel. She has been helping put when my family can't and had actually helped with the legal proceedings by telling her son to not be an ass and giving testimonials. My ex had refused to pay any CS. But MIL had actually taken that over.

It is really difficult. I don't have much if a social life. And I am sleep deprived. But at least I am happier than in my marriage

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/lonelywarewolf on 2025-05-26 18:15:45.

---

Hey everyone 4 years ago I made very selfish choices that hurt my ex girlfriend. We were together for 2 years but at the time I didn’t fully appreciate her. She was a great girlfriend stunning, caring, attentive, etc. Her best friend was extremely attentive also, I would say more so. To put it in perspective her best friend has over 20K instagram followers because of her looks and my gf at the time didn’t have much of a social media following. She’s attractive but not in a instagram model type if you get what I mean. When i met my girlfriend I approached her and not her friend because i was intimidated by her friend but always wanted the friend. When I was first met her it was a lounge and I shot my shot because she was the second hottest person in the group.

Well I got the opportunity to be with her best friend and I took the opportunity….I convinced myself it was love but it wasn’t. When she found out she was devastated. She blocked both of us. The relationship with the other woman didn’t work out and she was using me like I was her damn piggy bank but would cheat. After that I dated another woman just like her and realized this is my karma….

I’m blocked but I seen her because just my luck she moved in the same apartment complex with her boyfriend. I used my alt account to see her instagram and can see she’s has a great boyfriend who seems to spoil her. She deserves it. I’ve had one conversation with him just small talk about sports to gauge him and he seems like a good dude. She unfortunately would try to be very intentional in not even looking at me, I don’t know if she told him I’m her ex but he doesn’t seem to know… I got the courage to tell her that I apologize and ask for her forgiveness. So, when I saw her today it looked like she had just got back from the gym and trying to avoid me but I spoke.

I said hey and she glared at me. I said you look nice and she said what do you want. I told her it looks like you have a great boyfriend and she replied “the best” in a very cold way. I told her that I just wanted to apologize for everything and that I’m glad she’s doing well, she said “I’m doing great”. Again, in a very stern and direct way. I told her that her forgiveness would mean a lot and she said no and walked away….This really hurt me. I don’t cry often but when I entered my apartment I cried. I want to make this right because not only is it the right thing to do but I genuinely feel my dating life has been cursed by the universe because of what I did to her. All aspects of my life are great except my dating life

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-05-25 19:36:40.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/csstraight on 2025-05-04 05:35:41.

---

Ok so I’m getting married in October. small, chill, nothing crazy. should be a happy time right??

except my older sister (31F) has this thing where she constantly flirts with my fiancé (29M). like aggressively. and it’s always under the guise of “omg I’m just joking don’t be so sensitive”

first time she met him, deadass said “wow you upgraded, I’d let him ruin my life too” IN FRONT OF ME. I laughed it off bc I didn’t want to seem insecure but like. wtf??

then she started with the “if you ever get bored of her, you know who to call” comments. again, in front of me. I told her it was weird and she rolled her eyes and said I’m too uptight

she's made so many lil jabs. "I saw him shirtless once, damn girl you got lucky" … “if you die first I call dibs” … “too bad you got to him first lol” like it NEVER ends.

my fiancé thinks it’s awkward but tries to ignore it. he’s not flirtatious back. but he also doesn’t really shut it down either. just gets uncomfortable and laughs nervously.

last weekend was the last straw. we were at my parents’ house and I left to grab something from my car. came back and heard her saying (I swear I’m not making this up)

“I mean... if you’re having second thoughts, I’m always available. Just kidding. Unless?”

like. the unless? was real. that’s not a joke anymore. that’s a goddamn come-on. I snapped. told her she’s disgusting and can’t come to the wedding. she flipped. cried. told my mom I was being dramatic. now the whole family’s saying I’m “ruining the family over a joke” and she’s “just always been flirty” and “doesn’t mean anything by it”

I don’t even care if she meant it or not anymore. I just don’t want that energy around me when I’m trying to get MARRIED

but now it’s this whole thing and I’m apparently the villain for “excluding” her and “making it a bigger deal than it is”

AITAH for uninviting her or is this actually insane?? bc at this point I feel like I’m losing it.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/AnonymsF43 on 2025-05-04 00:45:50.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/mermaidpaint on 2025-05-03 14:15:21.

---

throwaway bc she’s already mad enough and I don’t need her stalking my account lol

so my sister flew in yesterday and asked if I could pick her up. I said sure, no problem. I drive a super old Honda Civic, it runs fine but yeah it’s got dents, the A/C squeals a little, whatever. 10 minutes before her flight lands she texts me “can you park far? I don’t want people thinking I’m getting in that embarrassing car.”

I stared at it for a sec and then just didn’t go. turned off my phone and went home. she called our mom from the terminal crying because “I stranded her in another city” like she didn’t just roast the only free ride she had. she ended up getting an Uber for like $75 and now she’s texting me paragraphs about how I’m “spiteful” and “childish.”

I don’t even feel bad. AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/J_S_M_K on 2025-05-02 19:03:10.

---

I (36M) heard about an NFT investment opportunity on X recently, going through a guy that was apparently very high up in the industry. I am a finance professional, and I thought that I would have a pretty clear idea of how it would develop. I didn't have any investment funds to use, so I took 1/10 of my son's (15M) college fund and invested it, thinking it would be temporary. As soon as I made the money back, I was going to use it to double what I'd taken out of the fund.

I was told that the stocks were doing really well, so I decided to keep taking more money out of his fund and investing it. After I had put all the money in, I got no updates on the stocks and I realised it was a scam. It was too late to recover any thing. I haven't told my family because I'm worried about how they will take it.

I'm also really shocked as to how easily I got scammed. I wouldn't consider myself particularly susceptible to scams at all, but this has shaken me.

EDIT:

Just to answer some commonly asked questions:

There's no way you're an actual finance professional: Yes, I am. I have been day trading for six months and have made profits in the past.

You wouldn't fall for a scam like this considering your profession: I wouldn't have thought so either. the website he linked to was very professional, had multiple customer statements talking about their profits, had numbers that supported their statements, and was very polite and professional when dealing with me.

Why invest in NFTs in 2024? They have been steadily improving the benefits of NFTs, they're more scaleable, and they have the opportunity to revolutionise digital property and industries like gaming and AI.

Also, 15 is the age of my son, not the amount that was in his college fund.

Thanks to all the people telling me to come clean - I will do that as soon as I have made back the money.

UPDATE:

she wants a divorce... fml. this will be the final edit because honestly this post has only made things worse. fuck you guys.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Spodson on 2025-05-02 17:48:50.

---

I (25M) was with my ex Emily (24F) for 3 years. We broke up two months ago. Or I broke up with her two months to give full transparency. Even before we got together Emily knew I was estranged from my brother Travis (28M).

Growing up with Travis was rough. I don't know for sure why he hated me but it was always that way. Our parents were constantly on him as a kid for not treating me with civility at a minimum. They did so much to try and make his treatment of me better until eventually they kept us apart as much as they could. I know it broke their hearts but Travis went out of his way to say cruel things about me. From mocking how I spoke with my stutter, to making fun of the fact I was bullied at school and saying I deserved it for being fucking dumb, to telling me everyone's life was better when I wasn't born and how he'd go back and stop our parents from having me if he could.

Travis hated me more when he was punished. He blamed me for getting him in trouble with mom and dad. He wouldn't work on those issues with therapists either. Mom and dad must have tried dozens and some were family therapists. Travis was so stubborn.

He went as far as getting his friend's sister to ask me to prom and say she liked me and stuff and then mock me during prom. He knew I had a crush on her and she went along with it because he bought her alcohol or something. Travis wasn't as welcome at home after that. Mom and dad were pissed he'd go so far when he was supposedly an adult now. Even if he was a younger adult.

Our lives have been totally separate since and Emily knew this. We talked about it and what I went through. Then six months ago, after she started getting closer to my family, she started talking more about Travis and then she told me she had gotten his contact info off a family member and was trying to befriend him. She told me he was family and we should all work things out. I told her I did not like her doing that and it felt like she was stabbing me in the back. She told me she should be allowed to form her own relationships. But she didn't stop there. She was talking with Travis some. Though he wasn't very responsive to her. So she pushed me hard to reconcile with him and after she refused to stop and she made it clear she wanted to be his friend and have him in our lives I told her I was not staying in this relationship. She didn't think I'd actually break up with her. But I did. I took my stuff from her place and gave her stuff at my place back and I cut ties with her. And I thanked my lucky stars we hadn't moved in together yet.

She tried to contact me but I ignored her and I avoided places where I might run into her. She tried to reach out via friends and I told them they could leave it alone because there was no coming back. She got one mutual friend to tell me over and over how she didn't want to end our relationship and she wanted us to talk it out and figure out a way to move forward together. I told that friend that she didn't need to be her messenger and I was not interested in hearing what she has to say. Then she showed up on a night out and tried talking to me and I told her to leave me alone. She told me we needed to speak and to please hear her out and that she was trying super hard.

That one mutual friend told me I was being an ass and I should give Emily a chance to work on this. That I was already being a stubborn ass by wanting her to not talk to people because I didn't like them. And she said it didn't matter what Travis did to me. That Emily was allowed to want to talk to him. She said I sabotaged me and Emily by throwing up so many roadblocks. And not letting Emily talk now was trying to punish her when she wasn't wrong.

AITA?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/lonelywarewolf on 2025-05-02 13:36:53.

---

When I wrote my last post I thought I was at rock bottom but I wasn't even close. I thought the day my wife left me was the worst day of my life. Not even close. Two days ago I was formally served with divorce papers. That was the ~~worse~~ worst day of my life. That's the update, my wife is making it official now.

I know my marriage ending is my fault. I don't know why I even cheated on my wife who was the best woman I've ever met. I was selfish and I don't care if anyone calls me names or anything because I already regret ruining my marriage more than anything. You aren't telling me what I already don't know and haven't called myself.

Getting those papers was rock bottom. When I look at them it is the worst regret I have ever felt. I didn't know my wife had a lawyer yet. (I'm an attorney but not in family law, I work in the Crown Attorney's Office and I thought I had more time because attorneys from law firms are expensive). Everyone is adamant that none of them are giving my wife money or any help. My wife said she wanted to be self sufficient when she left which was why she got a job first. She said she found a lawyer through a charity for people who are new to the workforce after I didn't expect to be served papers so soon but she doesn't want to talk about this further, only about our kids. Every time I look at them now it's like a hit to my gut.

Even though it's been a month I'm still not used to any of this. My wife is not living here. My wife has a job now. I don't get to see my kids every single day. I know everything is my fault and I am the biggest idiot for ruining my marriage. I have the papers to prove it now. It's official now. I'm going to be divorced.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Sir-Planks-Alot on 2025-05-02 12:21:09.

---

https://local12.com/news/nation-world/james-farthing-arrested-jacqueline-fightmaster-kentucky-man-who-won-1673-million-dollar-powerball-prize-jackpot-days-later-alongside-girlfriend-cincinnati-crime-criminal-acts-georgetown-bar-patrons-fight-physical-altercation-lottery-lotto

This counts right?

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Ju5tAnAl13n on 2025-04-30 03:30:19.

---

The irony of these lamentations is they were made by the same people who had no qualms about posting ghost jobs. I know because I've applied to about 80 IT jobs and only got one or two interviews that went nowhere (I worked really hard to get my IT certs and it didn't do any good). It's so frustrating that the same people who wantonly waste the time of hundreds of millions of applicants have the unmitigated gall to whine about fake applicants, without even a modicum of self awareness or introspection. They're getting what they deserve and they think they're innocent.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/chocobomog on 2025-04-29 16:59:28.

Original Title: Man calls his wife "low value" because she wasn't a virgin when the met 12 years earlier and demands she acts like a 1950's housewife as recompense. Wife kicks him out of her house, divorces him, and he ends up moving in with a young, naive, and soon-pregnant coworker.

---

I am still not the Original Poster. That is u/LadySavings. She posted in r/AITAH

I wrote three previous BORU posts here, here and here. This post was too long to include all of the posts, so I included OOP's tldr's of the first two posts and then the most recent updates, including the newest. I deleted a few comments as well. The newest update is marked with *****

A reminder that the rules of this sub stipulate updates have to be at least 7 days old, so this update is 7 days old. If you have seen this elsewhere, it was not on this sub.

Trigger Warning: infidelity; Andrew Tater Tot idiocy

Mood Spoiler: OOP is good; pour one out for Amy because GIRL

Original Post: July 3, 2023

TL;DR: Husband and I (33M/33F) are fairly high income earners (about 200K/year each), own our home free and clear, no other debts of any kind - we save close to half of our income and most finances are joint but we allocate $1500/month each (plus any extra income such as from bonuses or side hustles) for "fun money" (for hobbies, luxury goods, outings with our own friends that aren't together, etc.). Husband tends to spend his fun money month to month due to his expensive hobbies (primarily golf) while I tend to save the majority of mine because my interests (such as running and baking) are less expensive. I have been getting back into gaming lately, though, and having saved up more than enough of my fun money, I spent $5K on a new gaming rig and really nice desk and chair. Husband blew a gasket and accused me of "financial infidelity" even though I was operating within what I thought were our agreed-upon rules by spending my own allocated fun money on hobby stuff.

Update Post: July 11, 2023 (8 days later)

TLDR: husband told me he was actually upset that he feels I'm not professionally ambitious enough because I'm not on the "executive" track like he is, and that (despite my working full-time) he wanted me to cook fancier meals, set the table in a more elegant way, and dress up more for dinner - yes, like a 1950s housewife

Update Post: July 18, 2023

Hi All...so I have an additional (and probably not very surprising) update to my saga.

So, the more I thought about it, the more his requests - demands, really - were sitting poorly with me. I decided to try a little experiment over the weekend to see what would happen if I tried to meet some of his demands. NOT because I actually thought they were reasonable, but because I increasingly had the sense that the goalposts would just keep moving and that I was playing a losing game. So, Saturday morning, I went to the salon for a glow-up (haircut, fresh highlights, mani/pedi) then went to the farmer's market to pick up fresh flowers for our table and assorted other gourmet ingredients. Saturday is usually our date night out but I suggested we stay in so I could make us a special dinner, steakhouse style (lobster bisque, bread basket with several types of rolls/savory muffins made from scratch, crab-stuffed mushrooms, filet mignon, au gratin potatoes, white chocolate mousse topped with raspberries). I wore a lavender (his favorite color on me) sheath dress and high heels and fully done hair and makeup. For all that I got a lukewarm "thanks, it was tasty" and a kiss on the cheek. Of course I did all the serving and cleanup.

Sunday we usually go out but he suggested I make us brunch at home. So I made French-press coffee, mimosas with fresh-squeezed orange juice, Belgian waffles with a bananas Foster topping, eggs scrambled with parmesan and fresh herbs from our garden, roasted fingerling potatoes, and maple-glazed bacon. I wore a blue sleeveless sundress, wedge sandals, again did my hair and makeup. Again I got a "thanks, it's good" and no help with serving or cleanup.

Afterwards I asked if this is what he had in mind when he critiqued me before. He said that it was a start, but that I was "acting very entitled for wanting credit for basic adulting."

He then dropped a bomb that he was being so hard on me because he had realized lately I had a lot to make up for due to my being a "low-value woman." I asked what on earth he meant by that and he said it was because I wasn't a virgin when we met.

WHAT?!?!

Keep in mind we started dating at 21, neither of us claimed to be virgins or stated that as an expectation. Except for very religious people (neither of us is) I don't think most 21-year-old college students are virgins. I was upfront with him then that I'd had two previous partners, my high school boyfriend (we went our separate ways when we went to different colleges in different parts of the country) and another boyfriend I'd had my first year of college. And that's it, both committed relationships and nothing casual.

He then went on to say that because of my low value, I was going to need to be making it up to him for the rest of my life. That I didn't deserve monogamy or equal treatment and that I was lucky that anyone at all wanted to marry me. And - that he's "connected" with someone from work so if I wanted to keep him I'd better step up.

I told him it didn't sound like there was anything to keep if he no longer loved me (or even liked or respected me). Told him to leave and he said he would gladly go to his girlfriend's place.

I know SO many people here insisted he was having an affair and I just didn't want to see it, that his "complaints" were really all part of a campaign to distance himself from me. I feel SO foolish for just thinking he was going through a stressful time at work or that he genuinely wanted to work on our marriage.

Anyway I have taken the week off from work to get my head together. Have an appointment with a lawyer tomorrow. Canceled the marriage counseling appointment but got a referral to an individual therapist who can do an intake session with me later in the week. He (and the girlfriend apparently) are coming this evening to get more of his clothes and things so I have to brace myself for that.

Also, please be assured I do NOT think I am low-value in any way. I let my husband make me think less of myself on some levels for a short time but now I truly see it was a "him" problem. Obviously we don't share the same goals and values and he has become someone I don't recognize.

I know the divorce won't be fun or easy, but I will be okay. Thank you all for helping me see that I was being played before I wasted too much more time in a marriage that was already over.

Relevant Comments:

One last gem from the 'husband':

"Yes, it seems like he fell down a toxic masculinity hole at some point fairly recently.

Retroactively punishing me for not being a virgin at the outset, after a 12-year relationship including 10 years of marriage, is just completely over the top.

I even said, "So this person you connected with at work, is actually a virgin?"

"Well, she WAS," he said, with a smirk. (So, virgin or not, someone who would sleep with a married colleague is higher-value than me? Unless he lied about his marital status/situation which I wouldn't put past him.)"

"Yes, he admitted he has been having an affair for several months. He kept trying to say that "it doesn't really count as cheating" because I'm low-value so the standards are different."

Update Post 2: July 20, 2023 (17 days from OG post)

Hi All - I wasn't going to post another update (at least not this soon), but have gotten dozens of DMs/messages asking if I am okay and how things are going - so this is specifically in response to those who were checking in on me.

To recap my story, I first posted a couple weeks ago that my husband accused me of financial infidelity after I spent $5K of my own "fun money" allotment on a gaming computer, desk and chair, even though my spending was within our agreed-upon rules; he subsequently "admitted" that he wasn't really upset about the gaming setup, but about what he perceived as a lack of professional ambition (I'm a senior software dev and we make the same salary at the moment), plus he wanted me to cook more elaborate meals, put more effort into home decor, and dress up more for him. Finally, about a week later he accused me of being "low value" due to not being a virgin when we met (at age 21 - neither was he - and he never once previously criticized that in our 12 years together) and told me he was h...

---

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/OhNoConsequences/comments/1kasyue/man_calls_his_wife_low_value_because_she_wasnt_a/

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Hellion_38 on 2025-04-28 13:32:17.

---

I (26m) met this girl (30f) in the store. She was one of those people you’re just immediately attracted to, not only physically but energy wise. She was like a magnet.

We talked for a week and then went on a date, it was a walk that turned into us hanging out for 5 hours. She was the most open, non-judgemental person I’ve ever met. I felt like I could truly be myself with this girl. She was doing her finals in uni so we just ended up talking for a couple weeks. I could literally say anything and she never made me feel stupid or judged, like I could just be me.

When we met I was in the middle of reconciling with my ex tho, I never thought I would like this new girl as much as I did. I actually told my ex I wanted to start seeing the new girl more and it caused a big fight, (I also told the new girl about my ex and how I told my ex I wanted to start seeing her) I was so overwhelmed with everything I ended up distancing myself from everyone.

I fucked it up by bread crumbing her and then eventually ghosting her, and everyone. I’m an avoidant and just needed my space. I didn’t notice the distance at first until After a couple days I noticed the new girl had removed me off all socials. No argument, no reaching out to see if I was okay, nothing. I messaged her and apologized for distancing and she said she understands but that the silence made her feel rejected and she didn’t know where she stood so she backed off to work on herself. We had a good talk and I realized how secure she is in herself to not chase me but to choose herself over me.

This was the first time I’ve ever had someone not chase me. I know, toxic. But now I regret the ever living fuck out of doing that to her. I don’t know how to re-open the door to get her back. My friends say I fucked up and to move on but it’s killing me that I ruined probably one of the best relationships I could have had in my life. It’s the kind of person I dream about having in my life, no drama, no arguing nothing. Just pure 100% understanding of me. I hate that it’s taken weeks to see what I’ve lost. Do I reach back out or let her be? How can I do it

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/GamerGirlLex77 on 2025-04-27 15:26:35.

The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Similar-Shame7517 on 2025-04-26 02:52:19.

---

I am the only woman in my family. Besides my mother obviously. I have three older brothers. The youngest of them is not neurotypical due to a TBI as a child. My parents are getting older and trying to figure out what to do when they cannot care for my brother. They had us all over for dinner last weekend. They said that they wanted to sell me the house now at a very low price and in return I would be responsible for my brother. I have considered this in the past. Not the house, the taking care of my brother. My husband and I would love to have a house now instead of never. So I agreed to the proposal. My brother gets a disability check from his settlement and that is enough to pay for all his wants and needs. My other brothers both got irate that I would be getting a house and access to my brother's money. It started a huge fight. I ended the fight the most expedient way I could think of. I backed out of the deal. I said that we did not want to be the cause of discord in our family so instead I said that we wanted nothing from my parents and no responsibility whatsoever for my brother. I said that my other brothers could get all the money and all the work. Then I left. I was really disappointed because I know my parents want to enjoy their retirement and I know how to take care of my brother. Now everyone is calling me to say that I misunderstood and that of course I should take care of my brother in his home where he is most comfortable. I do not want the drama and I am not changing my mind.