stigsbandit34z

Any day now wages will increase I guess. Any day now the price of a house will be affordable to a human who makes an average salary. Any day now the job market will rebound and AI will be cleaned up and regulated so that everyone has an opportunity to live

Are people just in denial that we are living in a dystopia? The only people I know in my life who have “made it” stumbled into the the most extreme circumstances (some out of complete tragedy and others out of luck), and everyone else is a hamster on a wheel

Anyway, any destinations for expat curious people?

I don’t know why and I’m scared to know, but crying is a feeling on par with some indescribable pain. Can anyone else relate in any way

Undiagnosed dude here, been accused of it my whole life and people I assume that I have it, yadda yadda

But at every point in my life, I’ve lost people because they grew up while I remained childish. And I guess I’m at that point again, I didn’t want something about my personality I can’t change be the reason I lose people who are important to me

Does this make any sense

It seems like the person not online as much sort of simulates a lot of unwritten social rules that only people who are able to learn those rules are able to see.

Can someone please tell me they know what I mean by this

I’ve spent way too long trying to quantify/understand it, to be completely honest. As someone who has been working from home on and off for two years now, this shit sucks. I tried to wholeheartedly convince myself that I am a homebody who doesn’t require any social interaction lol what a foolish thought

Through my hours of rumination on this topic, I’ve also gleaned that I personally hate irl social interaction because I fucking suck at it, not because I don’t wish I could desperately fit in for once. Because when I’m in the comfort of friends who are like me, I’m on cloud nine. And I’m so much slower verbally than when writing/typing, feels as though people’s attention spans in this day and age are not in alignment with the way in which my brain works.

But yeah I really noticed it when I came to the realization that I could easily make a post about how I’m feeling about a situation with one of friends online, but I could ALSO text that friend and ask them directly. And that right there sums up the majority of my social problems. Because I know I could send the message to the friend, but the uncertainty, fear, doubt, and general sense of uncomfortability that await after I press send? Way too much. Those feelings don’t exist when posting online, and I’m not sure if it’s simply the anonymity.

And one thing I haven’t been able to stop thinking about is how so many things which people say (that are considered “childish”) would be perfectly appropriate with a neurotypical tone. A lot of it is like “wow no one ever asks/says that because we have this other nebulous social routine I just do even though it doesn’t make sense”

I hate it here lolololololololol

I’ve been in a bit of a tough spot with my (highly suspected) autism and haven’t been able to be my masked self in quite a bit. I’m not sure if anyone can relate, but my masking used to be somewhat controllable but now I’m really bad at it—like to the point where I’m hesitant to go out in public because I’ve forgotten how to human. Like I used to be decent at acting in general, but that’s no longer the case

But anyway. I wish so desperately that I could just have access to how NTs conduct themselves in conversation just so I could have a framework for reference. Does something like this exist anywhere? Think of it as me copying people and changing up their behavior just a bit (which is how I’ve gone through my life)

So many options to learn about things. I genuinely haven’t had an idea for how to make friends like a “normal” person since I hit burnout (and subsequently started to unmask with seemingly little control). Also, does anyone have tips/tricks for how to retain existing friendships without appearing codependent/needy?

I can only stand to be around people who make my brain go brrrrrrrrrrr and I would die for those people. In fact, I’ve had nights staying up until 4 am going in circles with those people, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Is a random phrase I thought of in the shower the other day and would like someone to steal for a Midwest emo track

Too niche a suggestion or can people see where I’m coming from?

Lately, I’ve been realizing I’m really fucking unfunny, and I genuinely think that quality is important when building any type of relationship with someone, friendship or otherwise. I know people always say that there are no “rules” but I genuinely believe they don’t understand how neurodivergent people view rules, but it seems that there is one rule guiding everything. Because a shit ton of anything in life comes down to verbal delivery. I can speak fine, but the tone of my voice has been the source for a shit ton of trauma.