ellabee

my cat thinks "up" and "down" both mean "get off my lap".

she also recognizes that when I sit and talk to myself (voice chat) is perfect petting and cuddles time. she's well known to my therapist and team because of zoom meetings.

and both guinea pigs and the cat have all decided that we do cuddles about 830pm. I thought it was "after work and dinner, sometime before bed". but the number of times I look up to see what the fuss is, and it's 830 and all 3 are looking at me expectantly... I assume they figure the time by daylight, because it's not consistent when I get home.

for a lot of people in long term polyamory, it's about intimacy, which sex is part of. even if you have relationships that are primarily about fun sexy times, you're probably going to do a lot of scheduling to maintain those relationships, or find new ones.

cults often practice polygamy as a few men in power "marry" girls (teenagers or younger), and control the assets. this is a power imbalance that can easily be abused.

polyamory as a modern term is trying to differentiate from that. proponents emphasize enthusiastic consent (from all parties) and communication, and often will warn against any rigid hierarchy among the polycule members. that's an ideal, so it's certainly possible to find examples that fail, but the intent is that people are all equally respected.

for me, it's seeing how similar we are. I went low contact and moved away almost 20 years ago. getting to know my now-transmasc brother when we're both adults is wild. he's dealt with things differently, but despite 8 years age gap and 18 years not talking, we have a lot in common still.

1984, not 1948, in case anyone goes looking for the reference

I've always had anxiety issues, and got to the point of panic attacks before I got help. my psychiatrist says that breakthrough anxiety is normal, when there's something especially stressful. it's not something to beat or get past.

since it seems like part of what is causing (perfectly natural) anxiety is that you don't know what to expect, why don't you reach out to the dentist to ask what to expect? maybe do a little research, if that won't send you panicking about the worst case scenarios you come across?

anxiety helps us look and plan for all sorts of future scenarios. if you can't eliminate it, try to direct it into things you can plan and prepare for. and if it's still interfering a lot with your life, talk to your Dr about changing the meds.

that's not what's meant. they mean, how long you've had an account with them, whether you have multiple accounts or loans with the institution, if you've been late in paying or carried very minimal balances or have a history of harassing customer service to the point customer service felt the need to record it.

it's your relationship with the institution, not the ceo, and whether you've been a good customer or not really.

I've allowed my partner to refer to me as girlfriend to make discussion with others easier. I don't love it, it doesn't sound like a longterm adult relationship, but I recognize it's easier to say "my wife and my girlfriend".

and both of us go to family Christmas, though not everyone needs to know relationship status.

... you're absolutely right about the scheduling thing though.

I had ferrets for a while. they liked to steal and hide things. you learn to check under the couch weekly just so you don't find things by smell. and hope it's not somehow inside the couch.

mostly it was the one guy, who preferred his chips and sweets, but knew his sister liked other things. she didn't eat tomatoes or apples or fruit, but he'd carry that stinky orange down stairs for her, lips peeled back so he didn't have to taste it too much.

not the OP you replied to, but someone else who loves the Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain book.

I think 5 days is ambitious. but a lot of what the exercises are doing is training you to see a different way. so it's not impossible.

someone neurodivergent may struggle to get what the exercises are trying to teach or to reach the point they're aiming for, so it might take them longer. those more inclined to pick it up faster probably aren't going to need the exercises in the book; it's already natural to them.

as we grow up, we learn "this is what a tree looks like, this is a dog looks like, this is what a car looks like", etc etc. the way we see a new car then goes through that filter of "this is what a car looks like". those filters are great for quickly identifying things and generally being a human in the world, so you don't get hit by a car while you're still figuring out if it is a car.

but those filters get in the way of drawing accurately. your eyes aren't literally filtering anything; that's all in your brain. so you need to learn to stop that part of your brain when you draw. that's the biggest part of being able to draw decently. the rest is technical skill you get with practice.

I'd still recommend the original OP look for an artist collaborator, since children's books need the illustrations to be as strong as the writing. there's no way to get there in just 5 days.

I'm sorry for this. I adore seeing men being fathers, being positive adults in the lives of children. my own dad was more absent than not, but my grandfathers taught me a lot about how to be a decent human being, how to have relationships with others.

please don't be absent for your daughter just because too many people have forgotten men are also capable of being nurturing adults for children.

there's a whole 2 of us! seriously though, if there's pink it gives me a stomach ache. as I've gotten older I can just about tolerate a medium well, but I still prefer well done.