As a parent myself, I love this. I feel that the single most important thing you can do as a parent is to actively tell (and show) your kids that you love them. Everything else can grow from there.
TugOfWarCrimes
joined 1 year ago
"I'm not feeling in the mood right now but I am aware that every moment is precious and pushing through this momentary feeling will result in a far greater feeling of happiness for both me and my child into our future when the opportunities to just play together become few and far between."
Sometimes you have to look past the choice of words to see the message being conveyed. The point wasn't that they were dreading playing with their child, it was that despite other factors in their life, they wanted to cherish the moment. The lack of choice was not born of obligation, but of a need for deep and meaningful happiness, and that is the wholesome message you think it is.
No. They would rather effective age verification that doesn't negatively impact the privacy and liberties of their users. They want a solution, not just a ham fisted excuse to start building the foundations of a social credit system
All three corporations involved are scumbags trying to game the broken legal system to profit at the expense of the consumer. None of them deserve your support. You should be able to buy what you want and emjoy, in a manner that's convenient for you, at a reasonable price, without having to navigate a labyrinth of corporate deals and user agreements.
I'm personally a fan of Noah Caldwell-Gervais. His essays can be quite long, like several hours long, but it's always very thought-provoking. I like to watch them on a second monitor while doing something brainless to wind down at the end of the day
There's heaps of psychology research into therapeutic approaches and all that stuff out there if you're willing to essentially do a degree on the topic, but personally I like to keep things as simple as possible so anyone can start applying it straight away.
I usually start with the picture story book The Huge Bag of Worries by Virginia Ironside (there's a read along of it on youtube) to frame the conversation. It helps to set up the idea that the "worries" are real and are having an effect on the individual. Also that many people struggle to know how to deal with them and end up giving bad advice, often because they are carrying their own bag of worries. I also at this point remind them that we are unlikely to get rid off all the problems, eg I can't cure your depression or rebuild your brain to make it neuro-typical, but we can make it so they are the only things in your bag making it a lot easier to carry.
Then I'll talk about a Catastrophe Scale. This is where we take a worry and rank it on a scale out of 10 of how bad is it really. 1 is a minor problem that will go away on it's own, and 10 is an extreme issue that will have a permanent impact on your life. Like in the book, many problems stop being an issue once you realize they are only a 1 or 2 on the scale. This is the "just get over it" point. Other's need some attention but can easily be solved or passed on to someone else in your support network to handle, but once you've spent that small amount of energy, it's gone. This is the where we see the value of another piece of despised advice, "stop worrying and just do it" or "have you tried going for a walk outside today". Once again, often spouted advice by people who think of it as the only thing needed without understanding how it fits into a complete treatment plan.
Finally that just leaves the real problems, the ones that are less easy to deal with. But without having to carry the weight of the whole bag of worries, we now have a capacity to take those worries to therapy or a doctor to medicate etc, and just generally do the more difficult and complex work that's needed.
The problem is that a version of this advice can be very helpful. As someone who has suffered from ongoing mental health issues and also work in an industry where I regularly support people with mental health issues, one piece of advice I often give is to identify what traumas are you unnecessarily holding on to, which are contributing to your depression/anxiety etc.
When you can let go of some of the more mundane stresses in your life, you have more energy to tackle the real issues you're facing. Of course this is much easier said than done and has to be used as part of a more wholeistic approach, but sometimes the advice to just learn to let it go is very good advice.
Unfortunately, many people don't understand that intricacy and so just repeat the surface level comment which is far from helpful. And this in turn also leads to a push back in the other direction where people who could genuinely benefit from letting go of some of their stress refuse to do so because they have spent so long being told that's all there is to it.
As an Australian, I am ashamed at how long I sat here saying "care-sore... queso" to myself over and over listening to how strangely similar they do sound when I think about it
I've personally been replaying Chrono Trigger recently on PC using Reshade with the CRT-Royale settings for exactly this reason.
Of course there's also a setting in most emulators to do the same thing.
At least paper can be produced through sustainable farming practices and any waste is almost entirely biodegradable.
But I do agree that the debate sucks. What we should really be doing is forcing corporations and governments to 1. Adhere to very strict sustainability levels and 2. Pay for clean up efforts out of the salaries of their board of directors. Any corporation that declares a profit or gives a bonus to someone in managment without meating their sustainability requirements results in large fines for the company as well as every individual member of the board of directors. And anyone who claims they can't pay within 12 months is given jail time and stripped of all assets instead.
Sounds harsh, sure. But till we start holding them accountable, it's not going to matter how many people are using reusable plastic shopping bags or soggy paper straws. It's not going to make any difference
Brilliantly said. Chasing those "higher highs" can feel like an obligation at times. But I think it's important to understand that it's a feeling that is coming from yourself and your own deeper needs as a person. And not, as I believe the person I was replying to was thinking, some sort of societal pressure to conform and "do the right thing."
Both interpretations of the word "obligation" are technically correct. But I think that it's one of those things in life where the only way to truly understand the intended interpretation is to have been a parent for yourself. Somehow it can be both a great chore and burden sometimes, but it's one you choose to put upon yourself because the rewards are sooooo worth it.