Even static PNG ads are purpose engineered to grab your attention. People with attention disorders like ADHD and autism don't have as much attention to give, and when it's gone we're debilitated. We need to start considering cognitohazards a legally prosecutable form of violence.
-2028
-wake up feeling sick after a late night of playing video games
-excited to play some halo 2k29
-"xbox on"
-...
-"XBOX ON"
-"Please verify that you are "annon332" by saying "Doritos™ Dew™ it right!"
-"Doritos™ Dew™ it right"
-"ERROR! Please drink a verification can"
-reach into my Doritos™ Mountain Dew™ Halo 2k29™ War Chest
-only a few cans left, needed to verify 14 times last night
-still feeling sick from the 14
-force it down and grumble out "mmmm that really hit the spot"
-xbox does nothing
-i attempt to smile
-"Connecting to verification server"
-...
-"Verification complete!"
-finally
-boot up halo 2k29
-finding multiplayer match...
-"ERROR! User attempting to steal online gameplay!"
-my mother just walked in the room
-"Adding another user to your pass, this will be charged to your credit card. Do you accept?"
-"NO!"
-"Console entering lock state!"
-"to unlock drink verification can"
-last can
-"WARNING, OUT OF VERIFICATION CANS, an order has been shipped and charged to your credit card"
-drink half the can, oh god im going to be sick
-pour the last half out the window
-"PIRACY DETECTED! PLEASE COMPLETE THIS ADVERTISEMENT TO CONTINUE"
-the mountain dew ad plays
-i have to dance for it
-feeling so sick
-makes me sing along
-dancing and singing
-"mountain dew is for me and you"
-throw up on my self
-throw up on my tv and entertainment system
-router shorts
-"ERROR NO CONNECTION! XBOX SHUTTING OFF"
-"PLEASE DRINK VERIFICATION CAN TO CONTINUE"
The gods are memes. Ideas that have reproduced and evolved to secure their own existence, so much so that they can accurately be said to have their own agency, as forces directing the will of society. This proves the existence of gods.
I can excuse slavery but I draw the line at kink
You can excuse slavery?
Nah, the safety measure is designed to make sure they can quit vim. Now they can quit vim.
They're lying arrow decals. They're fakers.
driving it is no big deal
It's impossible to safely drive a car like this. You can't see children standing in front of you, and no matter what you're gonna pollute. Pollution is dangerous.
It's a commuter bike. Most bikes in the US are sports bikes, designed for athletes. Most bikes in the Netherlands are commuter bikes, designed for average people. It's not "small dick energy" for a man to not be an athlete. That's toxic masculinity that harms men. It's misandrist and it upholds patriarchy. Part of destroying patriarchy is liberating men from judgement like this.
Settler colonial states and using the terrorists they radicalised as an excuse to do more genocide, name a more iconic combo
America is so jealous rn
After 7 years I still have no idea how to search my own inbox for posts that I know I have - but no idea when or where. If Google can’t help me find them - they might as well not exist.
Turn on Never Ending Reddit, click in the middle mouse and scroll down, go take a shit, then come back and use ctrl+F
Oh, because if the month you chose has less than 31 days, it'll assume the 31st of September is the 1st of October? That's reasonable.