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I feel I should be more adventurous. Every weekend comes by and I find myself just being a homebody, pretty much since COVID.
I think the trick is to find a hobby and / or get out be adventurous more often.
Having good friends is helpful, but those are so hard to come by later on in life.
TLDR - focus more on what you have control over
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people
Same.
How did you deal with this?
One thing that helps is trying to avoid that kind of information, whenever possible. The less you know about something that bothers you, the less it ends up bothering you. Still on that page, another thing that kind of helps me deal with it is knowing that a good portion of those "30 under 30" from Forbes might be grifts or scams, like Elizabeth Holmes, Sam Bankman Fraud and Charlie Javice.
Another thing that helps me cope is knowing that this whole pressure for overachieving is cultural poison. It's the same shit those NLP quantic coaches peddle, a way to blame YOU for not having an amazing life, full of riches and recognition, because YOU didn't try hard enough. An easy, culturally acceptable way to look down on people with deadend jobs or unemployed.
I don’t like the way the things are
Me neither and, like you, I don't have the means to change shit. Apes alone weak. But, like the TLDR, you have to focus more on what you CAN do, even if small and irrelevant. That's still on you and that's your part.
The funny thing is that the older I get, the more I understand why huge communities can make everyone feel so lonely. You live somewhere close to, say, 20 families, but barely know 2, despite being physically close to where they sleep. How weird is that? All those closed doors and passing sights create a huge disconnect with people that you should care about, because they're so close to where you live that their lives can directly affect yours.
One thing that helps is trying to avoid that kind of information, whenever possible. The less you know about something that bothers you, the less it ends up bothering you
I feel like I won't be able to improve unless I see people better than me
Maybe I am the wrong person to answer, but no. I've had one hell of a life so far. I worked in television, I interned for the Walt Disney Company, I served in the military, and as a result, traveled the world and lived in Europe. I even was a part of the convoy that recused Joe Biden in Afghanistan (my role was minor but I was there). All of that started because I didn't want to stay in my hometown and left to pursue something much more interesting.
You seem to have figured it out at least. Happy for you!
Remember to find a balance. You might have been doing the right things for the wrong reasons. Questioning is good...
I'm a father.
I know that life is fleeting. Consider it a success if you're remembered in 2 generations after you pass.
Am I saying "have kids"? No. I just know that what I taught to them will be passed on. Even if my name was lost, my contribution wasn't.
We live on by what we pass on. You're not a failure when you stop trying to keep up with the Joneses. If one idea continues, so do you.
Jealousy is a huge motivator. Having to do something for a purpose is even better. What do you want to do? Because the endeavors you mentioned don't happen overnight. When your sitting at your desk solving some problem that you didn't even anticipate and you're not even doing that thing you set out to do, it's hard to stay motivated. So, what is it about those endeavors that you mentioned piques your interest?
I just gave a few examples. They're just doing something that is good for them, good for people around you, and definitely fulfilling. Especially contrasting with what I've been doing while these were happening.
It's not that I don't want to work. I really do. I actually worked a lot as well but I worked on stuff that doesn't help me. I'm very ambitious
I don't know what to do. But I can kind of point out with my finger towards what I'm looking for
Sounds like you might have depression, maybe try looking into that. Good luck with everything!
Yea but I go easier on myself these days as I see it now as part of a larger systemic problem. Living in suburbs, having social anxiety, struggling with toxic family issues, etc. It all played a part in my escapism into video games and unproductive time sinks. I forgive myself for the past and try to do better today. It's about making the most of the opportunities that are given to you, cheesy as it sounds.
I grew up evangelical, and I definitely wasted my young years not living life because of it.
seeing them irl or seeing their insta feed? that social media trash is curated.
I personally haven't ever been that concerned with what others are/aren't accomplishing. ymmv
I casually asked someone from a selective high school what their best students look like
Huge thread, wow.
I know that by thirty years old you know something of what you are aiming at so bear in mind that at that point if you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing you'll feel it. Nothing wrong with that.
For every 1 dude who does incredible shit, 99 of us are getting by being content. Being content and unremarkable is the norm, don't let social media or fucked up parents tell you otherwise.
The only meaning to life is being happy and content. There really isn't any meaning to it, so the former is the best option.
If you really feel like you need to do something or regret it forever, then you need to get off your ass and start making changes. Otherwise surprise! You're just like everyone else!
Nobody TRULY cares except YOU and MAYBE your closest loved ones. Even then you realize people pay way more attention about what people think they think about them vs what they actually do. Most people generally don't give two shits as long as you treat them with GENUINE love, openness, bare minimum respect.
Only compare yourself to yourself if you’re doing better than you were a month ago, year or even decade you’re going the right way. Everyone has skeletons in their closet to you rarely get to see medical issues, spouse cheating, debt up to their eyeballs all this can be hidden for a long time.