this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2023
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A: 3 seconds B: 5 seconds C: up to 10 seconds D: up to 15 seconds E: longer

My choice is E, since 30 seconds introduces the prime ratio of milkiness to flavor.

top 45 comments
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 10 months ago (5 children)

Stick a fork in the cream, hold it under until the bubbles stop.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Other people have given me a hard time for using that as the metric for when they're done. It's not my fault they interpret it as me drowning the cookie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I’m surprised Oreo hasn’t done a Halloween ad campaign about how people eat their cookies: Hold it under until the bubbles stop, twist its head off, eat it in tiny nibbles.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Pro tip: if there's an Aldi near you, get the Benton's sandwich creme cookies. They're so much better than Oreos and way cheaper.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Dude, the Benton's maple creme sandwich cookies... Omg

Aldi has quite a few house brands that are fantastic and (relatively) cheap.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

Just like your hookers.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Keep going. I'm getting there.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

I like to bite off just a little of the top and bottom of the sandwich cookie to aid in airflow/flooding, since the baked finish is sometimes nearly air tight.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

This is me too.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm one of those monsters that eats the oreo and then washes down with milk. No dipping

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Opposite here: crush some in a cup, fill with milk and eat with a spoon

[–] [email protected] -1 points 10 months ago

You forgot to cut it with the blockbuster card before sniffing

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I'm one of those monsters that eats it raw.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

I'm one of those monsters that don't usually eat oreos.

Never saw the appeal - I prefer sweeter, chocolate or strawberry-flavoured sandwich cookies instead. (Kind of weird given that I tend to gravitate towards bitter food.)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Raw, microwaved, fried, frozen or drowned - there’s no wrong way to eat an Oreo.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (2 children)

In Finland we have a "local Oreo" called Domino. Oreo always had this mythical reputation as a famous american cookie almost no one had tasted. Then Oreos came to the stores here for the first time so I naturally bought a pack to try them out. I never bought another one. Those are incredibly dry and dull tasting compared to the Domino cookies I'm used to.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Yeah in the UK, Oreos are the lowest common denominator too. You'd have to finish the custard creams, bourbons, fly cemeteries and the dusty old packet of pink wafers you inherited when your gran died before you'd consider an Oreo

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Hob Nobs are top tier. 🤌

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Close, *homemade hobnobs are top tier. Trust me, I'm an emigrant 😂

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

That’s why we’re talking about dipping them

[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago

Till the cookie is mushy but not so mushy it falls apart.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

Just 3 seconds. The Oreos manufactured in my part of the world are very porous and absorb liquid way too fast, and I don't like having my cookie crumble and break into my beverage just mere milliseconds away from touching my lip.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Until it's too late to save it because I dropped it in the milk several minutes and fuck shit ass I forgot thanks to ADHD because ooo lizards.

[–] PissinSelfNdriveway 4 points 10 months ago

Exactly, you wait until you feel it just starting to dissolve under your fingers and then try to pull it out fast and gentle. If you are in any way slightly wrong it's gone

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

I alternate cookie and milk bites/sips so I have a crunch that suddenly melts when in my mouth. I don’t like biting into sogginess.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

Drop them all in at once and slowly sip the milk. Enjoy the delicious at the bottom when finished.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

No set time, I hold them under until the bubbles stop.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Uhhhhh zero seconds. I don't like milk and thus I don't dip my cookies in shit.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
  1. Fill a cup with oreos.
  2. Cover with milk.
  3. Wait until oreos become paste.
  4. Stir and eat with spoon.

Also, my favorite cookie/biscuit used to be Mother’s Taffy sandwich cookies, but then they went out of business, got bought out, brought back, and ruined by completely changing the recipe. Pretty sure the new recipe is just cardboard pulp and reclaimed wastewater.

I miss those.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I'm perfectly happy with 5 seconds, or not dipping at all. Eat cookie, drink milk. Still enjoyable one after the other.

My wife's a 5-second dipper, though, so I have adopted her practice when she's around.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

F: Zero seconds.

Step 1: Eat a cookie Step 2: Drink Milk Step 3: Goto Step 1

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

I remember watching a Mythbusters or similar show that concluded that the time out of the milk after dipping is more important than the time in the milk. I've been doing that ever since, one dip than 5 seconds out then dip again and 5 seconds out again and it's perfect every time.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 months ago

Not sure, I guess exposing the cookie to air let's the milk seep in deeper.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I rarely dip, I mostly put the dry oreo in my mouth and take a sip.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I like dry Oreos, especially when they are on the verge of being stale and they soften.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I like to dip it far enough that my fingers are in the milk a little too so that I can feel once the oreo starts to get soft.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Dip a chocolate digestive in tea for maybe two full seconds and it is absolute glory.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Chocolate chip cookies for me, and as long as I can before it starts to fall apart.

I like playing chicken with them

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

I stick a fork through the middle, then try to get as close to the cookie falling off as I can.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 months ago

Tim Tam SLAM

[–] [email protected] -2 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
  • 3 seconds: normal human bean

  • 5 seconds: borderline philistine, yet understandable

  • 10 seconds: I will gawk in incredulity at your shenanigans

  • 15 seconds: you are an absolute Madlad

  • 30 seconds: you revolting against what? And what for? Do you even have principles?

  • longer: who hurt you?