this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 137 points 10 months ago (1 children)

"are you a terrorist? if you are you have to tell us, it's the law"

"shit I don't remember this part in training"

[–] [email protected] 36 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What it is an extra charge so even if you fail utterly at being a terrorist and the fbi fucks up, they can get you for something, lying on an official form

[–] funkless_eck 10 points 10 months ago

immigrant here, had to sign many a form saying I wasn't a terrorist or a communist. Freest country in the world.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Should have matched the meme buttons with the pic buttons.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago

It bothers me. A lot.

[–] [email protected] 60 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Answer “yes” and a trap door is activated and you are sent directly to Guantanamo Bay for further processing by “Big Bob” and his cock meat sandwich.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 10 months ago

Come for the enhanced interrogation methods, stay for the cock meat sandwich - Gbay

[–] [email protected] 47 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Don't give in to intrusive thoughts or you'll generally have a bad time

[–] CaptainEffort 29 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you pizza when you should’ve french fried you’re gonna have a bad time

[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago

Fucking my sarcastic ass is glad I've never come across this. My wife doubly so.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Also "are you due for a colonoscopy and not have medical coverage", because click that button and you might get one for free!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

could just enjoy the experience 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (2 children)

What happens if one doas say yes?

[–] [email protected] 69 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (2 children)

Realistically, probably the same thing as what happens at self-checkout lines with idiotic anti-theft checks:

A beacon above the kiosk turns on, an attendant walks over and, without a word, flashes a badge at the machine to override the system lockout as they roll their eyes: this is only the hundredth time today someone accidentally pressed the wrong button, because what kind of terrorist would voluntarily press "yes".

[–] [email protected] 24 points 10 months ago (1 children)

An honest terrorist. There is a lot of terrotists out there, there is a chance that at least one of them doesnt lie.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Terrorists these days. When I was a kid terrorists took some pride in what they do!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Except that they take shit very seriously at airports. Try jokingly saying that you've got a bomb while they're checking your luggage, they'll take you away for a few hours.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

It crashes. Nobody expected that. ~/s~

[–] [email protected] 23 points 10 months ago

It was a misinput. Calm down! YOU CALM THE FUCK DOWN! IT WAS A MISINPUT!

God, this TSA is overreacting.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 10 months ago

Glad they didn't have a "Ask again in five years" button.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 10 months ago

I asked my girlfriend who works in aviation security auditing I asked her what would happen and she said "you wouldn't be allowed in" as it's part of a visa questionnaire.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago (1 children)

My guess is that the button doesn't do anything by itself, but is used to see if it triggers any abnormal behavior

[–] Timecircleline 10 points 10 months ago (1 children)

I think it's probably meant to tack on a "lied at customs" charge if the person goes on to commit terrorism.

[–] MostlyHarmless 5 points 10 months ago

Then they need a third option, "not yet"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 10 months ago

See what happens if you press "Yes"

*knock knock knock* FBI! OPEN UP!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago
[–] [email protected] 9 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago

Only if someone asks me if I am one.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 10 months ago

quick use dev tools to delete

[–] [email protected] 7 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Meanwhile ... loading crews are loading an entire cargo box under the aircraft filled with god knows what because those things are packed under weird agreements between airlines, airports and cargo companies ... those cargo boxes could be loaded with just about anything, bombs, guns, pigs, cadavers, severed heads, gold coins, computers, spaghetti, pine nuts or zombies tied in chains.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Pine nuts? Didn't realize we were talking such expensive items.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 10 months ago

The TSA gets upset my mom's last name doesn't have a hyphen. Imagine what happens when you admit to being a terrorist

[–] [email protected] 5 points 10 months ago

D̶̫̺͇̮̺̣̘͇̠̯̘͍̬̓͆̾̊̄̚̕̚o̴̥͖͕͎͑̀̀̓́̉̿̉̇͋̀̈́͝ ̵̢̟̥̻͉̠̣̌i̷̡̡̘̬͔̳̰̳͍̦̔̐͌̍́̅͒̈́̓͆͌̕t̷̢̛̺͍̼̪͍̪̣̪̰͍͕͛̑̇̏̂͐̊̎̃̃̒͌͐͑͘̚.̸̧̧̻̺͖͍̖͔̞̈́͗̾̇͒͑̿́̇̌̚̚͝ͅ ̶̞̖̫̪̤̯̳̈́̾͋́͗͗̎̆͗̕D̴͙̽͂̀͐̽͐̀͆͘͘o̷͚̳̤̫̝̪̫͓̮̿̿̇̋̄͘͝ ̵̨̮̭̲̲̬̞̺͉͖͙̓̈́̐̑̂̂̀̓̽̇̈̓͝i̵̢̼͚͇̗͓̦̹̠̪̝͌́̄̉̂͗̂͗́͆̎ṱ̵̍̑̐͘,̴̨̧̯͇̣̻̑̇͗̀͂̎̾̎̍̋̀̓̅̚͠ ̴̨̨͚̬͔͖̼̮͇̘̯͖̒͒̍̓́́́̓̂̓͑͐̓̇̃̃͝ͅy̶̤͎̹͚̖͍̗̝̞̤̳̫̻̋͊͐͐̀́͂̽̕̕͝o̷̢̻̺͇͑̈́̌̈́̀̈́̐u̶̡̢͕̟͎̰̬͖̰̖̗̜͗̏̋̆̐͜ͅ ̷̧̧̡̨͍̖̱̜̗̰͎͕̙͓͉̩̯͆́ẅ̵̧̧̛̻̗̞̫̲̳̰̮̦̻͓̤̯̠́̈́͛̂͋̀̐̄̽̽̉̽͆͊͝͝a̷͇̭̳̠͓̝̘̥̩̜̠͒̎͊̋̇̃̉̀̽̑͗͌͝ņ̵̥̖̯̲̥͓͍̼̼͎͍̝͚̩͔̈̏̌̃̂̓͋̒̔́́͐̚̚͘͠͝t̶̙̼̳̤̹͈̯͓̘̋̆͑͋̓̾̈͛̓̅̉͜͝ ̶̠̺͆̎̌̀̄̉̈́̀t̵͚̲͔̲̟͓͓̱̲͕͐̀͐̚̕ơ̷̡̡͉͉̯͇͉̠̺͕̼̮̩̺͚̪͇̂̿͂̀̎̏͐̈́͋̋͛̓̄̓,̷̤̲̟̟̤̺͔̫̳͎̟̺̤̻̄̂͐̓̆̿̄ ̶̡̱̝̝͈͒̎̇̌̎̊̈͋̄̂̑͊̈́̎y̵̧̪͚̼͚̖̦̱͖͙̯̭̼͚͌̎̽͛͂̀̈́̎̈́͂̌̑̐̐o̶̡͈͎̮̰̗̰͙̣̲̩̜̠̒ǘ̶̢̞͎̪̙̘̞̮̼̹͖̼̽̀ͅ ̶̞̼̠̭̱͕̑̃̑̆͌͂̋̃͒͘ķ̶̨̹͖̙͚͎̯̖̜̯̮̫̗̀͛̄ͅn̴̤̍ő̷͖̮̻̐̈́̒̈́̑̆͗͑̉̆̌̍͘͘͝w̵̢͉̖̻͉͙̰̬̝̭̤̲͕̣͎͓͋̑̃ͅ ̸̧̻̱̈́̓̽͆̑y̴̫͗̑̀͗͗ǒ̶̧̧̻̘̃̆͊̏̉̽̈́́͐u̷̼͉͙͉̗̱̟͈̘̬̳̱̘͑̓̇̽͒̇̅̊̈̈̀͗̕͜͝ ̴̩̦̪͎̪͇̲͉̗̯̳̗̘͌͂̍͒̾͊͐̔̑̍̋͘w̸͚͚̣͓̽͌ḧ̵͎̗̠̟́͑͊̿̌͛͋̂̽͒̂̋́͋̿̿à̶͎̩̂͗̇̋͂̈͂̔͌̾̄̿̽̎̓̌t̵̨̯̝̻̦̯̠͓͂͑͗̌̑̓͐̔́͘ ̶̧̳͓̪̌ẗ̴͍̙̞͇̱̘̪́͗̐̈́̃̾̇̔̈̈́͋̋͂̍̈́̕ͅȯ̴̢̯̤̗̞̝̺͊̒̈́̅́̓͋̆̎͋͒̕͜ͅ ̷̲̤̇͆̀̈́̋̈́́̒̓̀̚͘͝d̶̜͇̂̆̈́̅̋̉̌̀̋͘ớ̸̡̛̲͕̻̤̣̦̘͙̩͇̥̈́́̈́̈́̊́̉̅̊̚͜͝ͅ ̶̻̭̘͇̼̗͇͎̪̇̽̈́̂̆̽̈́̊̓͑̓̐̓i̶̛̻̮̺̬͇͙͓͍̠̔̾͊̿̇̏̔̉͋́̕̕͘t̸̢̧̘̥̮͎̲̯̼̑́̀̔̓̑̓̑̈̄͛̌͐̔̿͜͠.̴̺͈̯͈̟̿̂̃ ̴̧̡̳̬̱͚̱̫̗͔̰̠̠͖̱͖̽͊͆̄̔̉͛̇̊̐̇͒͋̓P̵̧̢̢̻̦̙̩̠̗͚̙̤̙̜̙̙̔̓̅̂͘̚͝ṙ̴̗̼̬͔̻ȩ̷̧̪̘̤̭͖̜̼͕̲͈͍̝̤͐̋͆͊̀͆͋̌̕͝͠͠s̴̛͕̾̀͊̓̈̀͒̈́̓s̵̤̬͂̍̀̾̃̾̔̀̈͒̈́̀̇̕͜͝͝͝ ̷̡̡̞͇̝̮̠̫͇̮̭͚͎̯͋ţ̵̧̣͈̻̞̹̩̥̦͎͖̌̍̒̈̔̓̒͝ȟ̸̡̨͈̙̲̙͕̮̟̻̮̎̑̃̀̽̓̆͒̂͘á̵̜͉̋͊̐͊̔͐̈t̴͈͋͌̓͂̍͊̐́͗̾̏̑͠͝͝ ̵̪̝̼̇̂̈́́̊͊͘͘̕ͅb̸̢̬͚̺̩̘̭͍̟̰̠͋͆͝ͅų̶̛̭͙͉̜̮̏̓͂͛͐̇̈̕t̷̙̜̲͉̼͓̊t̶̢̛̺̱̱͔̗̩͎͚̲̖̬̗̬̫̽̂̄͊͗̍̈̈́̑̚͘͘͝ͅͅo̴̖̼̬͎̲̘̞̪̰͚̭̙̓̿͛̈́̓̅̇̈̅͐̀͘͠͝͝n̵̡̻̺̝̙͓̳̹͖̯̻̰͈̣̘͋̔͑̉͐̾.̷̩͖̠̫̳͒͛͐̊̄͂̀̽̕̚͝ ̷͚̙̲͓̱͙̘̗̗̆P̴̨̦̘̺͚̩̩̖͉̰̜͓͊̚r̵̛͉̞̜͍͕̲̰͕̹̻̜̳̦̝̉̾̂̐̀̚͜͝͝ḙ̴̩̞͇͈͇̞̫̍̈̈̑̈́͘ͅs̵̨̤̻͔̹̩̟̭̹͔̝̄̌̈́͆͌̿͝s̴͓̮̲͖̹͓̞̍̉̓͆̎̂͐̓̏̎̽̕ͅ ̴̡̧͓̱̗͕̘̖̱̤͐ô̴̳̤̹̮̳͚̟͚͔̝̰̩̹̼͖̓ẗ̴̨̜̬̺̱̗̟̰̜͍̳̖͚́͆̓͑.̸̧͓̰̯̗̥͛̾͌́̋̅͐̍̽͝͝͝ͅ ̷̢̡̢̫̲̻͈̥͚͈̙̩̞̲̱̖͙̀̈́̉̀͑̋̀̍͂͠P̵̟̳̺̗͓̣̙̘̭͉̦͖͇͔̱͗̍R̶̙̬͔̲̙̣̣̀͝͠Ẹ̸̺̳̞͇͕͖̗̉̀̈̈́͆̈́̑̈́̅ͅS̵̛̹̪͇̟̥̞͂̐̊̔̿̓̈́͗̆̋̚͠͠ͅS̷̜̤̤̭̯͇̼̒̋͛̂͒͜ ̷̹̻͍̘͓̝̣͇̳̺̝͈̘̻̪̙̙̾͌̈́̒̓̈̾͗̾̋̕͝Ḯ̶̡̥̻̬͚̐͐̋͌̐̎̌̒̋̈́Ṱ̸̡̼̉͌̈̑.̵̟̗̦̯̥̏́̑̀́̆̈̔̉̇̉͋͗̒̿͘ ̸̧̢͔̰̠̰̜̖̳͇͔͉͎̈́̉̀͑̈̀̈̅̒̈́͆̚D̶̰̉̀́̏͊̒͛̽̃̎̚̚͘Ơ̸̬͈͑̏̇͐͠ ̵̨̧̡͍̗̹͕̜͎͛̅́́̾̏̎͂͂͐̐̃́́̓̈́͝I̶̥̥̬̲̬͚̖͔̲͕͔̽́̏̎̇͋͌̓̈́͗̓̔̎̿͘͝ͅT̴̢̨̜̼͕̪͓̟̮̺̰͕͉̂̋̈́̎̂̐͝͝.̵̰̦̥̭̖̔͗͋̏͜͠ ̵̫̀̒̊̔Ḑ̶̬̱͚̮̌̂͂̈́͜͠ ̴̳̪̺͉̭̜̬̯̘̯̯͙́̀́̃̑Ỡ̵̡̱̗̞͚̯͇̘̝̭̞̜̪͚̳̟̋̀̃͆͑͆͛͗̿̈̉̆͒͂͠ ̷̧̞̠̳̗̈̽͌̚͘ ̷̮͖̜̩͕͑̂͐͌̔̓̋̆̔͑̒̓̽̆̕͠͠Ȋ̷̢͔͍̻̱̭̯͈̰͇͇͇̀́̉̈́̀͗̏͝͠ ̸͎̼͙̩̙̥̹̻͉͚̹͇̋͂̾̀̌͑̆͠T̶̪͐́̅́.̷̧̲̝̙̺̥̺̠̙͔̻̟̻̏͋̎̊̈̎͑̃͠ͅ ̶̨̢̨̤̤̠̞͕̜̠̦̀́́́͋̽̕͜͝͠ͅN̷̥͕̭̟͓̟̼̼̣̩͆̎̉Ò̴̡͇̖̩͔͇͕̔Ẅ̶̛̲́̊̊̔̇͊͑͛̐̚͘͘̚̕.̸̯̦͖̯̦̳͖̠̙͒̒̏͌̏͊̈́̂̈́̄̉̐͜͜͝͝ ̴̺͔̜̘͖̥͇͕͍͛̀́͐̀

[–] [email protected] 4 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I guess that keeps the honest terrorists off planes?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I wonder if it's a last-ditch psychological effort to dissuade anyone from doing something drastic.... If this has been studied and it's a point of introspection that may let one's conscience reach them.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

A terrorist with integrity. Can't be too mad at them.