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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tricky-Plane1027 on 2023-07-04 20:00:51+00:00.
I (M37) am a Marine and, as a part time job, a security guard for a company. My father (M59) got out of jail a few weeks ago, and insisted on attending my sister’s wedding last week.
My sister came to me a week before the wedding asking to keep dad out if he arrives because she’s scared he’ll do something to the guests and resort to the reason he got into jail (which I cannot state).
My sister is also marrying an African American, and our father is completely racist, and she would prefer he not insult guests or possibly worse when he sees that her husband and his family is black.
I understood my sister’s worries, and, personally, I wouldn’t want to be associated with my father after what he did, either.
Now, at the wedding, as expected, my father arrived(by the way, he knew he was not welcomed). I was standing at the entrance of the venue, greeting the guests when I saw him, and immediately stopped him. I told him my sister asked that he not come, and that he must respect her decision and leave right then and there. He got absolutely livid and started yelling at me saying I’m the AH for siding with my sister.
I can see why he thinks I’m the AH, but I was worried, not only for my sister’s, but my brother-in-law and his family’s safety too. They deserved to feel safe, even if that meant at the cost of aggravating my father.
He eventually left after insulting me for a good ten minutes, and I haven't talked to him since.
Now, other family members are calling my sister and I the assholes, saying it was completely disrespectful to kick our father out of the wedding. My aunt(F53, father’s sister) said that my father had already missed my wedding, and it was unfair he had to miss his other child’s wedding.
I was calm about it and I told her that I was just helping my sister feel comfortable and have her perfect day. I’ll be honest, it’s been nice without my father, but I am starting to feel a bit guilty, as I feel that maybe my sister and I may of been little harsh on my father, but I also know he doesn’t really deserve forgiveness. I’m just torn between it.
AITA?