this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2023

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what to do when there's no atheist in your locality. (lemmy.world)

submitted 10 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

9 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Feeling pretty lonely as I couldn't find atheist people near me.

My country is full of religious people and people who follow religions just to have company and benefits which religious organizations provide. I hate these fake religious people even more because they simply take the side from where they'll get maximum benefits. There are no real atheist in my country who'll openly declare themselves as atheists.

And as per demographics of my country, having (or faking) religion is beneficial. But I hate doing either.

So how and where to find real atheist locally?

all 10 comments

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 10 months ago (2 children)

I also grew up atheist in a country where it’s not OK to be secular.

My only advice to you is this: Don’t talk about religion at all. Don’t try to find other atheists; look for people you get along with and enjoy being around; don’t talk to them about religion.

I don’t love quoting NDT as he can be polarizing, but he said that non-golfers/skiers don’t gather and talk about not playing golf/not skiing (paraphrasing). https://youtu.be/CzSMC5rWvos

The last atheist I met and hung out with at college had his whole identity wrapped up in atheism; it was uncomfortable; he also had some undesirable qualities that he used his atheism to excuse. I’m not looking for an anti-religion club, I’m just not religious; maybe you are looking for a “club” though, but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Just live your life and surround yourself with supportive, good people whether they are atheist or not.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 10 months ago

Bingo. This is the right answer. People who have their whole identity wrapped around their religion or lack thereof won't be pleasant to be around for long. Life is short so enjoy the company of people who are religious if it doesn't get in the way of your friendship or relationship. I have no issues with religious people as long as it remains a personal tool they use to find their way through life and be a good person. There are great people out there, religious and secular, but the opposite also holds true. Don't let it be a variable that completely clouds your judgment of people.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago (1 children)

Indeed! Thank you very much. I'll find good people with common hobbies irrespective of their religious beliefs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Exactly, looking for shelter in groups of people with similar beliefs is something religious people would do.

[+] [email protected] 19 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

[deleted]

[–] jbrains 4 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

False dichotomy.

I like interacting with other atheists because I do not have to worry about being judged for not having a religious affiliation nor a deity-centered belief system. This is not the same as gathering "in the name of atheism".

I relate to the desire to escape situations in which religious thinking is expected and even assumed. I understand why not thinking like that feels lonely to someone surrounded by religious people. I imagine it's very hard for OP to say "I'd like to talk about cricket, but no religious people, please." and so looking for atheists first and then finding common interests second is much more likely to result in finding new friends who will not be religious.

To the OP, I think you will have difficulty finding atheists in your local area, because they are strongly motivated to remain hidden. If you can find an atheist group online, then perhaps you can feel comfortable meeting people there while you are also hoping to find by accident some atheists in your local area. If you look for atheist activist groups in your local area, then you might feel disappointed that many of those people have built an identity around fighting religion, and maybe that's not what you want nor helpful to you.

Good luck.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 months ago

I live in a country where the majority of people are pretty much born into their religion and forbidden to leave. But closeted or semi-closeted atheists are everywhere. They may not openly profess atheism but will often drop hints here and there.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Largely, it depends on your country. In SOME countries, saying these sorts of things could get you arrested or worse(!)

So, #1 - be careful.

#2 - If you can't be careful, it's time to leave before you find yourself at risk. Go somewhere where a religious identity is not a big deal.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

In big cities maybe? More people, more niche communities. Or even tourists, expats. Or universities?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

Just don't talk about religion and atheism. In my country many see religion as a part of national identity and atheism is seen as something really bad (even though people who say that don't understand or know anything about atheism but that's not the point). I still have many friends who are belivers and I don't care (and they either don't know I'm an atheist or don't care about it), if we get along that's important. Only one of my friends is also an atheist but even with him I don't talk about stuff like that unless I find something funny that is somehow connected to it.