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submitted 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

You can assume that for every day you take the pill you don't age that day - if you skip it for a day you age by a day.

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[-] [email protected] 78 points 9 months ago

I put stuff up my ass that doesn't even stop me aging

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[-] [email protected] 72 points 9 months ago

Yes, probably. I also really enjoy the idea that you think that it being a suppository would factor in to the calculus at all, I think it’s really funny

Fellas, is it gay to put immortality up your ass?

[-] [email protected] 26 points 9 months ago

The mildly homophobic nature of the question is hilarious. "Would you want to live forever if you also had to be a little bit gay????"

[-] [email protected] 29 points 9 months ago

It’s not even slightly gay to use a suppository either, it reminds me of the guys who think it’s gay to clean their ass because it’s gay to touch an asshole.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I don’t have anything against the straights. I’m not a heterophobe – I’m a real cool dude — but when those people talk about not washing their asses, it’s only natural for us to feel a little bit of heterophobia against their lifestyle.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Please don't lump us in with those people. That's not a "hetero" thing it's just a disgusting person thing.

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

See, I'll go out on a limb and say it's not gay for a man to engage in prostate play. Even having sex with another man isn't necessarily gay!

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[-] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Yeah, I'd be uncomfortable, but immortality is immortality.

Now, if the requirement was a daily barebacking by the ultra-rich engineering their cum to be the elixir of immortality, I'd be a little more conflicted.

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[-] [email protected] 62 points 9 months ago

What kind of horseshit twist is that? Are you literally 14, OP? "There's an immortality pill, but OH NOES 😱 it goes in your BUTT 💀💀💀!!!!" Have you considered writing for Black Mirror?

I'm taking it even if it's the size of a horsecock, regardless of which hole it goes in.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

What we've learned from this exercise is that Baumgeist takes horse cock up the butt.

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[-] [email protected] 46 points 9 months ago

Who would say "no" to this??

[-] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago

The same kind of people who don’t wash their ass because they think it would make them gay.

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[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 35 points 9 months ago

Theres a lot of places I would gladly insert a lot of things if it stopped aging

[-] [email protected] 34 points 9 months ago

Seems like a no brainier. You'd get used to taking it.

[-] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago

I bet with time you could just hold the pill flat on your hand, reach back and your asshole would gobble it up like a horse.

[-] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

This wasn’t a sentence I was expecting to read in my entire life.

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

People say AI start hallucinating bizarre sentences is a problem, but I'm beginning to wonder if it simply gazed too deeply into the internet abyss.

[-] nitefox 5 points 9 months ago

Mmm, would eat it like a good ol’ big chungus

[-] [email protected] 27 points 9 months ago

Um hell yes. And if it were a suppository, we'd all quickly get used to some butthole time every morning

[-] [email protected] 22 points 9 months ago

Are you guys not doing butthole time every morning!?

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[-] [email protected] 25 points 9 months ago

Even those of us who don't enjoy putting things up our butts eventually get used to doing it anyway. It's just another body part.

(Folks, if your butthole hurts, go to the doctor already. Hemorrhoids, anal fissures, and other butthole problems are quite treatable. Don't let them get worse.)

[-] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago

Who is going to reject this?

[-] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago
[-] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago

This is a definitely yes question. No other side effects? Sign me up!!

[-] [email protected] 15 points 9 months ago

A suppository the same shape & size as a thermos.

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

I think it looks more like a durian.

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Sign me up. Even if there's side effects like nausea or whatever. I'll do whatever it takes to stop my bones hurting more every year.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

But what if it doesn't make you younger? So you'll still stay your current age, with all the chronic stuff you already have.

[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I'm 34. Yes, my bones hurt, but it's not terrible and I'd rather stay 34 forever (or at least drastically slow my aging, like if there were serious side effects I could take one every two days and effectively double my longevity).

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[-] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago

Can I give one to each of my dogs as well?

[-] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago

Yes and yes.

[-] [email protected] 12 points 9 months ago

Sure. By mouth, by butt, by injection, by patch, whatever. Yes.

[-] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

I’d be taking them two at a time!

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[-] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

What kinda question is this? I already take plenty of pills daily, I would do much worse things to not age.

[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Hell yeah, even in suppository form, which isnt super convenient but worth it for the benefit There is so much I want to do!

Appropriate song

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[-] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago

Only if the way of injection is a big cock

[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

That depends, does it prevent me from dying at a normal age? If so fuck that I don't wanna outlive everyone I know and care about. If it just keeps me looking and feeling young, then sign me tf up my guy.

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[-] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

I'd take it even if it was a "put it into the cut in your arm" form

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[-] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Without hesitation. I'd happily become Hayden from Doom and live indefinitely as long as my consciousness is a continuity of the original.

I mean like, give me true immortality, I will willingly experience the heat death of this universe / big snap / w.e, and welcome the new universe.

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[-] FARTYSHARTBLAST 6 points 9 months ago
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[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago
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this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2023
85 points (76.7% liked)

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