Ask Lemmy

Twitter should be one of the easiest social media platforms to leave. Mastodon seems every bit as good as Twitter with the lack of users being it's only real flaw.

The microblog style seems to work the best with federation as well since you're following people.

Someone else more less touched on this but I think you're missing the point.

I don't know a single person who thinks you can't like someone's art because you dislike the artist. Using your example, I have plenty of friends who grew up with Harry Potter and still absolutely love the series in many ways. However they also think JK Rowling is a piece of shit.

The problem lies in giving a platform to people who, at the very least outspokenly, espouse harmful views, and/or engage in harmful activities. So generally speaking, they tend to take some amount of issue (how much varies person to person) with people continuing to support works from them without some demonstration of change or betterment. In turn, most of us stop consuming their content wholesale, as we don't want to support their actions or views by contributing to their platform and would prefer others do the same.

People like what you're talking about exist, sure. I also think that demographic is nearly exclusively terminally online people, who tend to be quite a bit louder than your average person. Which in turn can skew how commonly held of an opinion something can seem to be.

I don't think you should be upset with someone for liking an artist's work despite their personal life but I've definitely stopped listening to artists for theirs. I'll be half way through the opening verse and remember "oh yeah, this dude's a rapist" and don't want to continue.

On the flip side, I know Jackie Chan has had his fair share of controversy....but I still love his films and on-screen persona.

No offense, but just no. If you don't like the art, but the artist that's fine, absolutely no problem here, but supporting a person like J. K. Rowling financially by consuming their creation is actually a problem and should be opposed.

This view is enabling horrible people and not okay.

If you pirate their art, I suppose you have a point.

But if you're financially supporting folks who are actively opposed to your existence or the existence of people you care about, that's pretty foolish.

Harry Potter is the only reason folks care about J.K. Rowling. However, her words outside of her books have influenced politics and have hurt marginalized folks.

Because she's making money, she doesn't care.

Until JK doesn't make a dime from Harry Potter, your fandom of the IP will financially support her hateful views.

What's most frustrating about it is that even when I try to help others see that this is the real cause of friction between us - that poor communication or misunderstanding is the real cause of our arguments, many if not most would still fight me that I'm wrong and they're right and it's like nobody wants to reach a solution, they'd rather forever spin in the accusations

I totally get where you're coming from! It can be frustrating when you just want a quick answer to a straightforward question, and instead, you're bombarded with a seemingly endless stream of words. It's like trying to take a sip from a water fountain and getting hit by a firehose, right?

But here's the thing, sometimes those long answers are necessary. Think of it like this: Simple questions might have complex answers hiding beneath the surface. So, when someone provides a lengthy response, they might be trying to give you a complete picture.

Sure, not everyone's a fan of reading a novella in response to "What's the weather like today?" But consider that some people are genuinely passionate about sharing their knowledge or experiences. They might want to make sure you understand the topic thoroughly or provide you with additional context that could be helpful down the line.

It's like when your grandma starts telling you a story about her pet hamster from 30 years ago when all you asked was if she wanted a cup of tea. Annoying at times, sure, but she's just excited to share a piece of her life with you.

The key here is balance. If someone's giving a longer answer than necessary, it might be polite to gently remind them that you were just looking for a quick tidbit of information. But remember, on the other side, there's a real person trying to be helpful or connect with you in some way. So, maybe next time you see a long response to a simple question, take a deep breath, skim through it, and you might just find a hidden gem of knowledge or a new perspective you hadn't considered before!

“Giving a simple answer” can get a person yelled at for “lying by omission.” Or yelled at for “why didn’t you tell me this other detail?!”

Some people are better/worse with this than others.

I remember when I was training for something in school, I dreaded asking my professor a question even though I really needed to. He would go into 10 minute long tirades and never really answer the question.

Every single time...

On that note, I hate question dodgers. Especially since I work online chatting with customers, and I'll ask them something direct, like "when were you meant to receive this check" and they fucking come back with "So my check is missing"

Like damn, fuckhead. I am already aware your check is missing. Definitely not what I asked. And I can't tell if they are just that brand of dumb or if they're being difficult on purpose.

If you want someone to give you a simple answer ask them a close ended question.

For example, "Should I do A or B?" If you ask for "this or that" it is clear to the listener that you considered your options already and have invested sufficient thought to your question. Therefore they can just offer you their opinion as it is asked.

If you ask "What should I do?" The listener has no idea where your head is at so it feels like their job to justify their answer.

Alternatively if you ask A or B and the correct answer is C then the listener may feel the need to correct your understanding because you asked for their assistance. The same teach a man to fish vs give a man a fish analogy applies here. Noone wants to repeatedly fish for the peraon too lazy to learn.

This one really gets me. Makes me feel like a cranky old asshole, but I find myself regularly thinking (all directed at my neighbors):

“Do you really need to slam the front door on your way out every day?”

“Do you really need to slam the car door every time you get in and out?”

“Does your meaningless 3 hour phone conversation really need to be on speaker for the whole neighborhood to hear?”

“Are you an elephant? Or is there a reason you can’t walk across the apartment without banging each foot like you have a vendetta against the floor?”

I could go on and on.

Especially when it's comes from their mouth from chewing food.

Elon Musk is the best example: SpaceX has some really cool ideas (Falcon 9, Starship, Starlink) and Tesla made EVs palatable to car enthusiasts, which is an important step.

But on the whole he is an absolute piece of shit with a fragile ego.

That's interesting, because I was going to say I hate how a lot of people are very susceptible to extremism and binary thinking.

Why the fuck are we walking so goddamn slow?

I also walk fast all the time but I am trying to be a little slower so I don't get sweaty while going places. Maybe it's like that for other people as well. What I don't understand is why so many people seem to be completely oblivious to their surroundings and the way they block the path for other people.

Why can’t you eat faster?

Some people like to enjoy their food.

Oh god, don’t make me watch you not use keyboard shortcuts.

I can actually get behind this one.

Why is everyone living like they want to be here in this goddamned line more than anything else in life?

I'm unable to decypher what exactly you are complaining about here. What line are you talking about?

Well there are those of us who just feel we've done the wrong thing all the time and practically apologise just for existing. Not that that's better.