Ask Lemmy
A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions
Rules: (interactive)
1) Be nice and; have fun
Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them
2) All posts must end with a '?'
This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?
3) No spam
Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.
4) NSFW is okay, within reason
Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either [email protected] or [email protected].
NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].
5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions.
If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email [email protected]. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.
Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.
Partnered Communities:
Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu
view the rest of the comments
When I ask them a simple question and they answer with at least ten-sentences-long answer.
Jes, I do it too.
I totally get where you're coming from! It can be frustrating when you just want a quick answer to a straightforward question, and instead, you're bombarded with a seemingly endless stream of words. It's like trying to take a sip from a water fountain and getting hit by a firehose, right?
But here's the thing, sometimes those long answers are necessary. Think of it like this: Simple questions might have complex answers hiding beneath the surface. So, when someone provides a lengthy response, they might be trying to give you a complete picture.
Sure, not everyone's a fan of reading a novella in response to "What's the weather like today?" But consider that some people are genuinely passionate about sharing their knowledge or experiences. They might want to make sure you understand the topic thoroughly or provide you with additional context that could be helpful down the line.
It's like when your grandma starts telling you a story about her pet hamster from 30 years ago when all you asked was if she wanted a cup of tea. Annoying at times, sure, but she's just excited to share a piece of her life with you.
The key here is balance. If someone's giving a longer answer than necessary, it might be polite to gently remind them that you were just looking for a quick tidbit of information. But remember, on the other side, there's a real person trying to be helpful or connect with you in some way. So, maybe next time you see a long response to a simple question, take a deep breath, skim through it, and you might just find a hidden gem of knowledge or a new perspective you hadn't considered before!
case in point :)
Didn't even need to ask them a question. They just started talking.
That's the biggest problem I had with Twitter since day one. It was designed to not allow for nuance or detailed explanations.
“Giving a simple answer” can get a person yelled at for “lying by omission.” Or yelled at for “why didn’t you tell me this other detail?!”
Some people are better/worse with this than others.
I remember when I was training for something in school, I dreaded asking my professor a question even though I really needed to. He would go into 10 minute long tirades and never really answer the question.
Every single time...
On that note, I hate question dodgers. Especially since I work online chatting with customers, and I'll ask them something direct, like "when were you meant to receive this check" and they fucking come back with "So my check is missing"
Like damn, fuckhead. I am already aware your check is missing. Definitely not what I asked. And I can't tell if they are just that brand of dumb or if they're being difficult on purpose.
I had a gf who would answer half my questions with something completely irrelevant. Or if I told her anything remotely like criticism, she'd respond by criticizing or attacking me about something completely irrelevant, and never address what I said, ever, no matter how fair or important it was. Drove me nuts.
I'm impressed that you managed to reach gf level with someone like that.
If I can't get through a conversation with a person it's just like, too frustrating for me. Makes me feel crazy too. Like I know I'm being coherent but talking to someone like that makes me feel like I have to try extra hard to understand them even though they're the ones not making sense.
I'm not sure what it was like when we were first together, though we did drink wine and have some frustrating conversations even then.
Something less pernicious she does is just say things that are really vague, like not using enough words or specific enough words for me to have any idea what she's talking about. For example she'd might ask me "hey, will we have time today to do the other?" and i'd just be like what?? The other WHAT? And it would be something we were talking about the day before. With no context, there's no way at all I could ever have figured out what she meant. Or she'd tell me about news, like "Did you see what happened to him today? They're going to court!" And I'd just be ... WHAT? And it would turn out it wasn't something we were talking about or I was thinking about at all.
Ha ha, a great example just happened yesterday - we're talking about how she's getting her paintings to a show or something and out of nowhere she says "the numbers are looking really good". I was "what numbers?" She says "My numbers!" as if I'd know what that means. Sometimes I just ignore the bizarre out of context statements, but it's also really frustrating so I asked "WHAT NUMBERS? What does that mean??" "Oh, my social media views". Okay... maybe just say that in the first place.
Trying to do projects together was pure hell, or if she needed help with her computer, she'd say something like "the files all doubled up!" A lot of people are pretty bad at describing software issues though.
If you want someone to give you a simple answer ask them a close ended question.
For example, "Should I do A or B?" If you ask for "this or that" it is clear to the listener that you considered your options already and have invested sufficient thought to your question. Therefore they can just offer you their opinion as it is asked.
If you ask "What should I do?" The listener has no idea where your head is at so it feels like their job to justify their answer.
Alternatively if you ask A or B and the correct answer is C then the listener may feel the need to correct your understanding because you asked for their assistance. The same teach a man to fish vs give a man a fish analogy applies here. Noone wants to repeatedly fish for the peraon too lazy to learn.
Ask customer if it's this or that - they respond with just "yes"
You underestimate how stupid the general public truly is.
Exceptions exist to every rule.
If someone responds like that they've said a lot (about themseleves)in very few words. It is still helpful.
Who would ever do something like that?
![A two-panels image showing a puppet monkey, looking awkwardly to the side, as if he had a guilty conscience.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/030/710/dd0.jpg)
Me? I totally don't! I'm a paragon of succinctness, here's why: [insert 40 sentences explanation filled with 20 examples]
When I ask a simple question and get a ten-paragraph answer that has nothing to do with the actual question.