A community to post scientific articles, news, and civil discussion.
rule #1: be kind
People that disagree about fundamental things in life tend to not be good matches romantically....news at 11.
Tune in Saturday to watch our round table where several overly serious and over paid people discuss why the relationship between the Jewish woman and her literal Nazi husband fell apart.
I would never be with someone who doesn't find MAGA repulsive.
At this point, anyone who votes Republican is complicit, and I've cut all of them out of my life except for my parents, and even then I don't invite them to social events and have stopped giving them money when they run low.
No shit sherlock
Yeah no shit. If my partner thinks social welfare is bad and i am a socialist, ofc we wont get along
Well when one side wants to literally murder the other, Yeah.
My wife has a friend who is a quirky anime loving girl with no desire for kids, not religious, and makes good money in healthcare.
Her friend is married to a hardcore Trump cultist that really wants kids, is very religious, and despite not having a good paying job, wants his wife to stay home and tend to the future kids.
My wife and I just honestly don't understand how they are married.
Lol that divorce is coming, it's just a matter of "when" not "if."
Don't worry, it's only a matter of time and they will join you in not understanding.
Or they become a bangmaid. One of the two.
I don't get along well with people who aren't at least within "discussing distance" politically. I wonder how people even date when they don't agree on some fundamentals.
A lot of people saying how does this happen, it happens over time with small shifts. It happens because our stability as communities and nations is changing faster and more frequently.
Question is when do you take off the wedding ring? (or mental equivalent) because your promise to this person is most likely the strongest conviction most people hold. For better or for worse, implies we understand a partnership has ups and downs that we ride through. A fundamental change is attitude could be seen as an up or a down.
Your assessment makes sense, but some of the mismatched relationships mentioned here sound like they started out unbalanced, and that must be the case. Some couples are clearly doomed much earlier on.
Considering we are reaching a point where the political differences May very well might be whether your spouse deserves to exist and not be chattel breeding slaves, yeah easy to guess why it's a deal breaker.
No shit
It's good to challenge and confirm common sense scientifically. There are many examples where common sense wasn't as sensible as originally thought.
The real question: how do they make it past the dating stage?
Most people don't care that much and they are not that passionate about politics.
For some people politics ideologies is not the central point of their lives. Thus it really doesn't become something that disallow dating.
Values are crucial. Your politics tell me your values.
I do know bad and good people voting and being part of each political party I know.
I was raised a combination of atheist (mom) and Quaker (dad) - the atheism definitely won, though I did internalize a decent amount of the Quakerism... I was engaged to a Catholic girl in my mid-20s. We discussed things early on, I said I'd respect her beliefs if she'd respect my lack thereof, and for a while it worked out nicely, we'd talk about spiritual stuff, but neither of us was trying to convert the other, it was more of a "how do you feel about x" or "how do you explain y"... But after a while, she decided that since I was "preventing" her from going to church some Sundays (I wasn't, I was fine with her going without me, she just didn't want to if she had the option to stay in bed and fool around with me, and why on earth would I turn her down?) that she wanted me to go with her the next Sunday whenever she skipped one. In retrospect, this was the first nail in the coffin of our relationship, but of course I didn't recognize it at the time. It took us moving in together permanently for me to see how controlling she was, and how mean she could be if she didn't get her way...
She was a church-going catholic, wanted you to go too, but was living together before marriage (mortal sin), fooling around (mortal sin) and engaged to an atheist (not a sin in itself but frowned upon)? I mean yeah, just the sheer contradiction of these is a red flag, no wonder the girl ended up being messed up later on
Sometimes you don't know. Or think it's not important.
There's this thing basically (you've probably heard about it), "I don't like X people, but you're good because you're not like them". X can be race, gender, any other things. When you are with that kinda person as long as they like you, you won't feel how they are, they'll treat you nice but it's an exception not the rule. But when they don't like you, they revert back to treating you like the X group. They'll even go "I knew X would be like this" and all.
Now in many cases if they were vocal about it from the beginning you'd notice and might get away. But in many cases they won't be vocal, or they'll talk about it with some extreme examples which you might feel is justified and you know you're not like that so it's fine. And in those cases you yourself might hate those subgroup for ruining your reputation so you might even bond over that.