this post was submitted on 14 Jun 2025
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The vet says he has a cancerous lump and will not survive any intervention, and that he was a very different dog than even from two months ago and that it was time. He has dementia, tracheal stenosis, diabetes and cataracts, and coughs a lot, so it really is time, but my ex needed to hear it from the vet, who thankfully is always her forthright helpful compassionate self.

I know the internet hates pugs, but he was a stray I fostered and then adopted, and he had a wonderful hilarious personality, was cuddly as could be, and really did very well until the last year or so.

It is the right decision without question, but it's never any easier no matter what experience you have with it. I will miss my puppy baby so much.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Grief is love.

You gave him the best life possible, and now you’re going to give him the most peaceful death possible.

Sending you hugs from across the internet.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 hours ago

Thank you. It is love and I love him dearly.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I messaged, but I wish to show my support here as well. You are a lemmy friend, a wonderful supporter of our effort here, and a beautiful person. These may just be words on a screen, but I'm a real person dammit and so are you and I don't want you to hurt. All my love friend in this impossibly difficult time. I'm in tears empathizing my own experiences and I hate the pain you must feel. I hope you know how much joy you bring here and I am certain your canine friend felt just as blessed with that joy.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago

I appreciate you saying this! He's definitely well loved.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

I don't have anything special to add. It sucks, but try to remember the good times. I lost 2 cats pretty close to each other. The first one (porkchop) went bad real quick. I had to feed her churu through the weekend because she couldn't eat anything else. We had her euthanized at home and her sister was able to have more closure.

The pain will always be there but it will lessen. The 2nd one was cream cheese (in my profile pic) he died at 6 months to some rare brain disease. That one still hurts because he was so happy and excited about life. It still feels raw if I dwell too much. The first time I got thing from my phone about "check out these photos that you made a year ago" and it was his face and jumping around was hard. Just be aware how technology might surprise you with shit like that. I feel for you.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago

Thankfully I've been here before, so I know those memories crop up so painfully. Ugh. Why don't they live forever. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Heartbreaking. Having to make a decision like this must be horrible. I wish you much strength and my condolences.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 19 hours ago

Thank you. It's so obviously the right thing to do, and yet when I hold him and he's alive in my arms I don't want him to go.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We went through this about 6 months ago. It was a pretty rapid decline for our dog and it was one of the easiest decisions I've ever made, but I had to pull over on the way home because the tears were making my vision blurry.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago

Honestly my ex was away for a week, and I didn't want to ruin his vacation by telling him how bad things were so I just held fast, but I found myself wondering if I could just give him some sedatives myself and then tell my ex I had just found him passed away that morning, it was so bad. I just wanted to end his suffering so badly. Thankfully my ex saw the truth of things and agreed today but he just needed to have the vet tell him it was ok, I guess, which I do understand.

Poor puppy. He was such a great dog while he was healthy. I'm sorry about your dog. No matter how ready you are, you're never ready really.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss, but it sounds like it's time.

I had to say goodbye to my senile, almost 13 years old Boston terrier beagle mix in 2022.

I still miss him every day. A few things that you may want to do.

  1. It helped us to write down what his last few days were like - the long walks, visits to Home Depot, etc. We did this in an email to ourselves.
  2. After, we also wrote an email/started a thread of all our memories - what dumb things Murphy did, what we loved about him, his quirks. This has been painful to look back on, but it also keeps his memory fresh (and become less painful as time has passed).
  3. We kept his old bed around for a month+ before we felt like we could put it away - take as much time as you need.

Lastly, fuck anyone who thinks that grief for a pet isn't worth anything, or isn't the same as losing a human member of your family. Our dogs are our family.

And because I will never not share a picture of my buddy, here's Murphy.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago

I love Murphy! I'm sorry for your loss. Thankfully I have lots of Victor documented and that helps, but ugh. The dementia was really hard, it's so hard to keep them happy and there's times they look at you like "why am I here". It's very much time, but ugh my baby.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm so sorry.
I lost my dog decades ago. I was holding and petting her while she passed, I cried all the time. That was some 40 years ago but I still have her picture and I'm glad I was there with her.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Aww I'm sorry. You never get over a pet you love.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 hours ago

Thx.

Not completely, that's for sure but that's OK. I still have sweet memories of her, it's all I wish to remember :)

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm so sorry OP :(( I had to put down my cat a year ago due to liver failure. By the time we took her to the hospital it was too late. We took her to the vet just a couple weeks before and the vet didn't noticed anything wrong with her. It was a complete shock to my mom and I. I still miss her dearly.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago

That's horrible and I'm so sorry for you and your poor kitty. I hate when you have to do it as an emergency situation so I'm glad we have time to plan and say goodbye.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Letting go of a friend you love is never easy. I wish we could all say our last moment on earth was being held by someone who we love. I think you should give him a cheat birthday and share your favorite picture of him with us when you feel ready.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

How about a video of him singing me the song of his people?.

https://imgur.com/Xh01sK9

He was a very funny dog and so much fun. He'll have a lot of love this weekend and go off into the sunset wrapped up in all that love. It will be ok, but I'm just mourning. Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago

OMG this is so funny and precious :)

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We just put down our dane who had just turned six. It was very hard, but he had an aggressive cancer causing ample pain and discomfort. There wasn’t anything we could really do. Even though he was only six, the cancer aged him considerably in the last four months. We felt awful for him and ourselves, but we also know that many people keep their pets around too long while quality of life deteriorates. We didn’t want him to suffer further. We’ve taken on that suffering now in a sense.

Sorry for your loss, OP. Enjoy the time you have together and thank him for his companionship.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago

Will do, and sorry about your Dane. It's good to do the necessary thing for them but it hurts like a bitch.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We just went through this recently. It's very difficult but you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry for your loss, truly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 23 hours ago

It absolutely is right but damn it hurts. I wish they lived so much longer. Sorry for your loss.