AskMenOver30

Effort posting a ramble for new forum o7

tl;dr: No it hasn't changed.

Not personally, but I'm an outlier in a lot of ways that I think are just the consequences of my oddly innate drive, often maddening, dogged pursuit of the truth. This drive had me starting to get disillusioned, not believing adults at face value not even parents, and curtain peaking reality already by age 8. The ladder climb of capitalism I just never fell for. I begrudgingly participate only because I have no real choice. Because I have no love for the system, I always look for short cuts to work as little as possible while still having a house, and have as much free time as possible.

The list you have: calm, peace, stability I share. I also associate quiet with these things. My friends marvel when they come over how quiet my place is and how okay with silence I am between conversations. I get asks to stay over night, it seems valuable/therapeutic to others once they notice it too. Platonically. Well, not always ;) but I'm big into platonic love between friends too.

Once I found/got lucky enough to find a comfortable job, I never went looking to move up and I'm still asked to once and awhile. They'd even pay to educate me further in something related to this plant. No thanks. Growing up I was always looking for exploits to make grade school as effortless as possible, and I wasn't struggling to begin with regarding grades. In fact I'd just take 0's on anything I didn't feel like doing if I calculated I'd still pass. I even skipped one final exam because I saw I'd just barely pass the course anyways. For high school I figured out some credit exploits in a few elective classes which allowed me to only attend half the day for 2nd semester grades 11 and the entirety of 12. Would've been all of 11 too but my mother wouldn't let me :p

I'm not a team player and I only really like talking to a select few people IRL. So my position is perfect for now. I work alone and get left alone most of the time. The higher up positions are a team effort running one of the bigger units and they're the money makers, I'm just in house reclaim. This means the eye of corporate Sauron is upon them often. Constant Pressure. For +$10/hr more? I still won't. No fucking thanks I'm good and I make enough to get by, independently even if I had to. That's all I wanted really. Security (stability like you say might fit better) and no shared walls with neighbors.

Ideally I'd never work again if I could. My father and I do not understand one another in this regard. He can't imagine not working so badly that he quit retirement to work more for the sake of it. He'd go insane with "too much" free time, whereas I'd be happier and probably even more reclusive. He worked a lot of overtime as I grew up. I would say we're not that close because of that choice. I refuse as much as I can get away with. Which turned out to be most of it after butting heads with managers, despite the "mandatory" wording in the union agreement, there isn't anything that refers to a minimum amount of time. So, 2 shifts a year and all the rest is refused. Fuck them. Somehow I've made it here 12 years in a row and they've never updated that part of the agreement.

equating "making it" with money, hustle, and status are the carrot on the stick of capitalism to turn people into more productive workers, and make them think it was their own idea.

everyone's priorities are different, but for me, my 20s and 30s were all about acquiring shit. now 45+ and it's more about getting rid of shit

I don't know if the change is that quiet, really. I'm liking the greater emphasis on work life balance, working form home, class solidarity & unionisation, spending more time with your friends and loved ones.

for real though I'm never setting foot back in an office.

After covid, my priorities changed significantly. I just want a roof over my head and to spend time with my family. I've come to realize that the hustle and grind we've been sold all our lives was a lie to get us to produce more for our capitalist overlords. All I want is to go home at the end of the day and spend some time on my hobbies, and time with my wife. Everything else is noise.

Been here all along. When I was 18 my first GF asked me about my ambitions, and I said, I just want to be happy. She didn't get it. Maybe she does now.

I always thought success would be owning my own house, having a family and a successful career.

The only thing that has changed is the nuances of what a successful family and career means.

My coworkers think I’m weird for not caring all that much about money. Sure, having money is nice and all, but I’ve worked jobs that paid better and I was just stressed all the time. Now I get paid a bit less than I used to, but enjoy work and can relax at home.

I’d rather be broke and happy than rich and miserable.

Yes! When i was young i was certain i was going to be rich. I genuinely thought it was important to make a lot of money. i am now in my late 40s. i have a wife and a little boy. all i want to do now is hang out with friends and family, read, play the piano, etc. i have a gym membership and i play some racquet sports. all of these things are pretty cheap. i don’t have use for big houses, sports cars etc if having them means i have to spend more time working. i have a job i don’t hate and i find it easier to live cheaply than to grind. our condo is small, so we go to the park/library/rec centre for fun. we buy used stuff whenever possible and i drive a 14 year-old (dependable) car, though i mostly ride the bus. we cook at home 90% of the time. my work hours are strictly 37.5/week. i feel very successful these days.